#demon!dean angst

[dean-winchester-is-a-warrior]

Pretend You're Mine

This is my first entry on my 2024 @jacklesversebingo card. It will fill the "I don't like people touching what's mine." square. The quote will be bolded in the fic.

Summary: Y/N knows the person standing in her bedroom isn't really Dean, but it's hard to keep that in mind when he's so close.

Pairing/Characters: Demon!dean x Y/N

Warnings: Mostly all smut. Oral (f. receiving). Overstimulation. Light bondage. Use of a belt (no spanking). Brief, light choking. Edging. Rough, unprotected PinV sex. Slight breeding kink. Slightly Dom demon!dean. Slight dub-con. (Warning out of an abundance of caution.) Angst.

Word Count: 3,673

A/N: This is my first entry for jacklesversebingo 2024! I'm so excited to participate again this year. So much fun last year. Hope you guys enjoy my naughty little demon!dean offering. 🥰

A/N 2: Edit: I'm a doofus, cause I also meant to mention that this fic was filling this request I got from the lovely @viviwatchestv I hope you feel like this fic captures the feeling in that song of the inescapable pull of the bull towards the Matador, even when you know it's no good for you.

These lines especially inspired me for the beginning:

Your stare is steely and your tongue is sharpened Can carve me like a steak knife

Hope you like it, hon! ❤️

Y/N walked through the door to her bedroom in the dark, tossing her sweater onto the chair in the corner as she flicked on the light. As the room lit up, a movement across the room caught her attention and she gasped and cut off a scream as she realized who it was.

But then her heart started beating triple time as that realization sank in.

Dean stood just in front of her open window, the curtain blowing lightly behind him in the soft October breeze that blew through. He wore a long-sleeved black shirt over his gray t-shirt, and well-worn, dark blue jeans. 

He looked so cozy and soft and so much like himself that Y/N almost ran into his arms immediately, but she stopped herself. No matter what he wore, or whatever he looked like, this was not Dean. His eyes were green and shining at her from across the room, but she knew they could blink black in an instant. 

This was not Dean.

As she stood silhouetted by her doorway with her hand on her chest, still breathing heavily, Dean smiled lazily. 

“Sorry, sweetheart. Scaring the shit out of you wasn’t really how I’d planned on making you gasp and pant tonight.” His expression was warm and teasing, and his voice had butterflies pirouetting in her stomach.  

Y/N forced the feelings of elation and desire down where they belonged, and dropped her hand from her chest, closing it into a fist at her side. Her voice was still breathless, though, as she spoke. 

“What are you doing here? Get out.”

“I missed you.”

Y/N shook her head. “No you didn’t.”

Dean tilted his head. “Sure I did. Haven’t you missed me?”

Y/N gritted her teeth against the pain that shot through her when she thought about how much she missed him. No, how much she missed Dean.

Dean stepped towards her a bit and she took a step back before realizing that retreating was pointless. There was nowhere she could go to escape him, nowhere he couldn’t follow. So, she looked him in the eye and let her anger show. 

“No, I haven’t missed you.” Her voice was still weaker than she’d like. “Get out.” She repeated.

He drew closer, barely three feet separating them, and shook his head slowly. “I know that isn’t true. I’m the love of your life. You told me the last time, remember?”

Y/N’s chest tightened further as she remembered the last time she’d seen Dean, how she’d begged him to come back to himself, kissed him desperately as though true love’s kiss could somehow wake him up, or force him to shed the monster of his twisted soul. But the demon had just laughed as she told him how much she loved him.

That had been almost a month ago, and every day since had been torture; she did miss him, so much. She spent her empty days remembering him and her empty nights aching for him. She craved him like water in a desert. Looking at him now, all long limbs and tall, solid strength, the pull towards him was magnetic and irresistible.

She shook her head again, trying to gather her scattered wits. This is not Dean. She reminded herself. She nodded slightly.

 “I do miss Dean, every day. But you aren’t him.”

He tilted his head slightly, an action so reminiscent of her Dean that it felt like he was reaching inside her and crushing her heart in his fist.

“Like I told you before, sweetheart, it’s still me.” He shrugged. “Or mostly anyway.”

Y/N closed her eyes. “You’re a demon. You’re not Dean.”

He chuckled softly and her eyes popped open again to watch him. He shrugged one shoulder. “Actually, I’m both.”

He moved to stand right in front of her, and she dropped her eyes to his chest; looking at his beautiful face so close up was just too much. But he wouldn’t let her look away, tipping her chin up with his knuckle as he spoke soft and silky.

“The Dean in me misses the way I could make you smile, and the demon in me misses the way I could make you scream.” Y/N’s eyes bulged as another seductive smile slid onto his face. “I came here for both.”

Dean slipped his hand up to cup her cheek, pressing his thumb against her lips and then slipping the tip of it into her mouth. She gasped and turned her head away, closing her eyes, desperately hoping against hope that he would leave, while deep down her soul was begging him to stay.

When she turned away from him, Dean let out a questioning hum. “Hmm, interesting.” He said quietly. “Maybe you don’t miss me anymore. Maybe good ol’ what’s-his-name is taking care of you these days.”

Y/N snapped her head back to face him, fear filling her eyes. “What are you talking about?”

Dean’s expression turned calculating. “I’m talking about you and loverboy out and about earlier.” His voice dipped to a sinister whisper. “I saw you.”

Y/N felt a drop of dread slip down her spine when she thought of the sweet guy from work, who’d taken her to coffee this afternoon. Her voice wavered as she asked the question that terrified her. “What did you do to him?”

Dean’s expression shifted, becoming slightly mocking. “Nothing permanent.” He shrugged. “I don’t need to draw more of that kind of attention.”

Quick as a flash he had her by the throat and twisted them both so he could drive her back into the wall. His grip was not tight, but it was binding, ensuring she couldn’t move as he bent his head, skimming his lips up her neck and then nuzzling his nose behind her ear and making her tremble.

He pulled back slightly so he could look her in the eye, his gaze unwavering and scarily focused as he warned her.

“But I don’t like people touching what’s mine.”

His fingers tightened almost imperceptibly around her throat as he continued to stare at her and in spite of her fear and heartache, she could feel her stomach tighten, and her panties get damp.

She shook her head slightly. “I don’t belong to you.”

His gaze hardened. “Yeah, you do.”

She opened her mouth to argue further, but he slammed his lips down on hers, immediately thrusting his tongue into her mouth and swallowing her protests. She brought her hands up to grab at his forearm, trying to pull it away from her, but he let her throat go, so he could grab both her wrists in a vice-like grip and slam them against the wall on either side of her head.

He shoved his knee between her legs and rubbed against her soaked center. She couldn’t stop the whimper that slithered its way out of her mouth, making Dean chuckle. His voice was knowing and triumphant as he spoke against her lips. 

“You want me to go, baby? Just tell me. Want me to stop?” 

He let go of her wrist to slip his hand under her t-shirt and cup her breast in his big hand, squeezing hard enough to send a pulse of need straight to her cunt. He smiled wickedly as though he felt it too. 

“Just tell me to stop then, sweetheart. That’s all it’ll take.” He taunted her in deep, silky tones.

He let go of her other wrist and she dropped both hands onto his broad shoulders. With his free hand he flicked open the button at her waistband and lowered her zipper. Y/N was shaking her head back and forth, trying to convince herself that she wanted him to stop. 

He was moving incredibly slowly, giving her ample opportunity to refuse, to push him away, but she just couldn’t. She couldn’t put a stop to the pleasure coursing through her veins as his hand slid down her pants and into her panties to find her clit and swirl around it softly.

Instead, her head fell back against the wall with a hard thump as she tried to press down harder against his gently probing finger. But he wouldn’t let her, pulling his hand away whenever she tried, and making her whimper some more. He laughed outright at her neediness, licking her lips open to claim her mouth again.

After a few minutes, he pulled both of his hands off her body and braced his palms against the wall, one on either side of her shoulders, trapping her within his solid, unbending frame. He breathed against her lips, and she chased them as he pulled away from her. He shook his head. 

“Uh uh. Stay or go, baby, what’s it gonna be?”

She stared into his burning green gaze and tears filled her eyes as she capitulated. “Stay.” She whispered.

It wasn’t Dean. But it felt like him, smelled like him; he kissed her the same, his touch hadn’t changed, and she missed him so much. Her body never stopped aching for him, her heart never stopped breaking over his loss. But now he was here, and her body didn’t care about what was different, and her heart could pretend for a night.

So she nodded and repeated herself as she frantically pushed the shirt off his shoulders. “Stay. Don’t leave me.”  

Dean growled at her surrender and as she slipped his t-shirt over his head, he ripped hers off her body, followed quickly by her bra. In one smooth motion he grabbed her by the waist, twisted to face the bed, and then tossed her onto it. He reached her in two strides and grabbed her jeans by the cuffs, yanking them down and off of her.

She trembled under his gaze, with only her panties still on. She watched him unhook his belt with his right hand as his left reached out to rub against the wet silk of her panties. They completely flooded as he slowly pulled his belt off; the leather made a soft whoosh over the denim as it slid through the loops. He dropped it to the ground and Y/N jumped at the sound of the metal buckle hitting the floor with a loud thud. 

He rubbed harder along her slit, causing her to moan loudly and throw her head back, pressing it into the mattress. She looked up again as she felt the bed dip as he climbed on, kneeling between her legs. His torso was bare and beautiful as he towered above her and she reached up to run her hands across his wide, broadly muscled chest and down over his flat stomach. 

He lifted her further up the bed and then bent her in half as he pushed her knees into her chest, sinking down slowly and kissing a path down her leg as he pulled her panties off.

Almost as soon as they were off, he was on his belly with his mouth buried in her cunt. He wasn’t gentle; he wasn’t teasing. He sucked her clit into his mouth and drew on it deeply. Her knees locked against his ears, and she screamed out her immediate climax. 

He let her legs stay clamped around his head as he continued to fuck her with his mouth -  through that climax and into another, and then several more.

Each subsequent climax was more drawn out than the last. Every time she came, he slowed everything down even further so that he could tease and torment her for longer, even as her nerves became more and more shredded with pleasure. So that by the end, all he was doing was kitten licking her over-stimulated clit, but she was so sensitive that it felt like white hot fire licking her, and it made her scream and beg for him to end the torturous pleasure. 

Eventually he pulled away, and Y/N was almost too woozy to notice that he was shedding his jeans and underwear. He came back to her and flipped her onto her hands and knees without effort, but her muscles were exhausted, and she was wobbly on all fours. 

Dean reached over her to grab a pillow from the head of the bed. “Put your face in the pillow.” He instructed roughly as he tucked it into her arms.

Y/N pulled it to her gratefully and sank her upper body down onto the bed, laying her flushed cheek against the cool pillowcase, and pushing her hips back towards him so he could claim her body.

But instead he stood up. Her blood started pumping hard and fast when she saw him pick up his belt and walk back to the side of the bed. He climbed back up and got in position behind her again. The belt was folded in half and he slid the cold leather slowly up and down her pussy making her shiver.

“Dean.” She whimpered. “Please.” 

“Please what, sweetheart? What are you begging for so prettily?” He asked.

She felt her cheeks flame brighter, but she was beyond trying to be demure or coy. “Please, fuck me.”

Dean chuckled lightly. “You sure about that, baby? You didn’t seem too happy to see me earlier.” He set the belt down beside her and started to move off the bed.

”Maybe I should go like you told me to.”

Y/N sat up quickly and grabbed his hand as he stepped onto the floor. “No, I told you to stay.” 

Dean shrugged. “But first you told me to get out. That was practically the first thing you said to me. Hurt my feelings. I should go.”

“No, don’t!” Y/N cried out and she was humiliated by her desperation. But still she sat on the side of the bed, clinging to his wrist and shaking her head. “Don’t leave, please.”

Dean leaned down and kissed her softly, sweetly. “Okay, I won’t go if you tell me that you want me.”

“I want you.”

“Only me.”

“Yes, only you.”

“Tell me what you want me to do to you, Y/N?” 

Dean’s voice was soft and seductive as he reached out his big hand to squeeze her breast. Y/N bit her lip against the pleasure spike as he pinched her right nipple and she quickly breathed out her answer. 

“I want you to fuck me.” She admitted again.

“Do you want my cock, Y/N? Do you need me to fill you up with it? Pound into you endlessly till I prove I fucking own you?”

Y/N nodded, but Dean shook his head. “No, baby. Tell me.” He picked up her hand and wrapped it around his dick. “Pump me fast and tell me what you want me to do.”

She began pumping, but he tapped her fingers. “Use your slick to slide better.” She reached down to scoop up the wetness that coated her pussy, and began pumping him again with her wet hand.

Dean grunted. “Fucking yes. Tell me, sweetheart.”

“Yes, I want…I want you to fuck me with your cock, fill up my pussy.”

“And pound you till I fucking own you?” He reiterated.

Y/N nodded. “Yes.” Shame burned in her heart as she begged him. This wasn’t Dean. She should be letting him leave, telling him to go. But it felt like she’d explode into a million pieces if he walked away now.

Dean nodded and immediately manhandled her onto her hands and knees again, facing away from him, but this time he stayed standing, at the side of the bed behind her. 

Directly across from her was a large standup mirror and she could see them reflected in it. Dean smiled wickedly and she knew he’d manoeuvred her into this position on purpose, so she could watch him fuck her senseless.

He pushed the pillow over to her and she laid her head back down on it. Then he picked up his belt and pulled her arms behind her back, wrapping the leather around her wrists so they were bound at the small of her back. 

He stepped up close behind her and she felt the tip of his cock teasing her entrance. He slid into her excruciatingly slowly. When the head of his cock was notched inside her he stayed like that, without moving for what felt like forever to Y/N.

She was whining at him, desperate for him to push further, but every time she tried to push back against him, he'd pull back out a little.

“Dean!” She cried out, frustrated and needy

But he just laughed and landed a swat to her hip. “Don't be greedy, sweetheart. Take what I'm giving you. If you want more, ask me nicely.”

Y/N shook her head even as she whimpered. “Please, Dean, give me more. I need more of you, all of you.”

He gave her another teasing half inch and then another as she begged him. 

Finally when she was weeping with need and achingly tense muscles, he fisted his hand in her hair and yanked her head up so she was watching in the mirror. With one hand in her hair and the other on her belted hands, he slammed himself to the hilt inside her clenching walls. 

Y/N screamed in pleasure at the sudden invasion, even though it stretched her to the limit. Dean pulled back until he was almost out of her body before wrenching her back against him as he thrust deep and rough.

He continued to fuck her, pound into her as she'd begged him to, pushing her through countless more orgasms. He angled his cock in such a way that every single, brutal thrust, hit her g-spot perfectly. 

“Dean.” Y/N's voice was weak with exhaustion. “Please, I can't take anymore.”

Dean's answer was a particularly deep, hard thrust and a growl. “You're gonna take everything I give you baby. I told you, you're mine.” 

He pulled out and slammed back in again, making her scream out another moan as she came on his cock again, having completely lost count of how many orgasms he'd fucked out of her.

As he slammed into her again, he bent over her to grunt into her ear. “I'm gonna come, sweetheart. Want me to come inside you? Fill you up, make a little demon baby?”

Fear exploded in Y/N’s brain as some of the fog of want and need lifted and she shook her head. 

“No, please don't do that.” She whispered. 

Dean just laughed again and rutted into her deeper than ever.

She was shaking her head. “Please, don't.”

But before she'd even got the plea out, Dean was pulling out of her and pumping his cock fast. Thirty seconds later he threw his head back with a ragged roar and spurted his cum onto her ass and up her back. She watched him in the mirror and her cunt was clenching again as she saw his muscles tense and go rigid as he thrust into his hand. 

As she watched, his eyes popped open - slick like oil and bottomless black. The sight made her start to cry, partly because of the reminder that this wasn't really Dean, but also because, in spite of that, she knew she wanted him again, still; she knew she didn’t need him any less. 

There was still a part of her heart that clenched pleasantly at the idea of carrying Dean's child, even if she knew it would be a monster.

I'm sick. She thought, and as Dean let go of her hair, she laid her head on the pillow to weep quietly. 

Dean was shuddering with the end of his climax, groaning deeply. He let go of her arms too and she sort of sank onto her side. Reality and realization was beginning to flood back into her mind and with it came regret and shame. 

This wasn't Dean.

She looked over at him as he pulled his boxer briefs and jeans up over his hips. He buttoned and zipped them up before reaching behind her and unwinding his belt from her wrists.

He grinned at her as he slid the belt though its loops and buckled it. 

“Looks like I followed through on my promise.” His voice became hard. “You won’t forget who you belong to now, will you?”

He leaned down and squeezed her cheeks lightly as he sank his tongue deep into her mouth, making want and need begin to stir once again, starting to tighten that coil in her lower belly.

He pulled back, his expression triumphant and smug. “So, who do you belong to, sweetheart?” 

Y/N looked up at his beautiful face, black eyes receded back to shining green and felt her chest tighten; she thought of the way she'd begged him, the way she was coated in his cum, the way her body still responded to his simple touch, and she could only answer truthfully. 

“You. I belong to you.”

His eyes widened slightly, as though he didn’t think she'd actually give him the answer he was looking for. 

“Fuck yeah you do.”

He kissed her again, and it was slow and gentle and it was playing tricks with her mind, making her think that it was her Dean kissing her so sweetly.

He pulled away and his gaze was more intense than smug as he studied her. “Maybe I should come by more often to remind you. What do ya think?”

Something stirred in Y/N's stomach. Was it possible, or was she only deluding herself again? If she was with him more often, could she coax her Dean back to her, at least enough that the demon would agree to the blood cure?

Fuck it, she thought. Delusion is where I'm living now; it's worth trying.

So she nodded. “Yes, Dean.” She smiled at him lazily. “I think that's a very good idea. But next time, use my door.”

The grin that crossed his face was all Dean and almost no demon.

@lyarr24 @lacilou @deans-spinster-witch @globetrotter28 @suckitands33

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[jarpadandjensens]

SPN | 4.20

“Don’t you get it? Demons will never stop, you can never be with your family. So you either get the Hell away from them as soon as possible, or you put a bullet to your head.

That’s how you keep your family safe, but there’s no getting out and there’s no getting home.”

[lila-lou]

✨Beyond saving - Pt. 2✨

Summary: Dean is back and no longer a demon. But with all the emotions he has to deal with now, he would rather die.

This is part 3 of "Beyond saving".

Pairing: Dean x Reader

Warnings: 18+ only!, Mention of rape, Language, Angst, Hurt

Word Count: 5518

A/N: English isn’t my first language, so please be lenient. 💙✨

As the hours stretched on, the pain seemed to deepen, sinking into your bones and settling in your soul. At first, you lay on the floor, tears flowing freely as you grappled with the overwhelming sense of despair that threatened to consume you.

But as time passed, a numbness set in, dulling the sharp edges of your agony and enveloping you in a cold, empty void. You lay there, lost in the darkness of your own thoughts, the weight of your suffering pressing down on you like a leaden blanket.

After hours and with trembling limbs and tears streaming down your face, you forced yourself to your feet, the pain in your broken wrists and ribs a constant reminder of the brutality you had endured.

With each step, you felt the weight of your pain bearing down on you, threatening to crush you beneath its unbearable burden.

You made your way towards the bathroom, each movement filled with agony.

As you sank into the warm embrace of the bathtub, the water enveloped you like a soothing balm, offering a brief respite from the relentless ache that gripped your body. But even as the comforting embrace of the water washed over you, the pain remained.

Your wrists throbbed with a dull, persistent ache, the broken bones protesting with every movement. Each breath sent sharp spikes of pain shooting through your ribs, the fractured bones protesting against the strain of simply existing. And between your legs, your pussy throbbed with a raw, tender soreness, a painful reminder of Dean's brutal assault.

As you lay there, staring blankly at the water stained crimson with your own blood, you couldn't help but feel a sense of emptiness wash over you. It wasn't just your body that bore the scars of Dean's cruelty, but your heart and soul as well.

Your face bore the imprint of his violence, your Skin bruised and swollen. And beneath the water, your bruised buttocks throbbed with pain, the memory of his forceful kneel still fresh in your mind.

As Sam and Cas returned to the bunker, a sense of urgency filled the air. Sam's heart raced with fear as he noticed the dried blood staining the kitchen floor, his mind racing with dread at the thought of what could have happened to you. Without hesitation, he began knocking frantically on the bathroom door, calling out your name with increasing desperation.

"Y/N, open up!", Sam's voice was filled with concern and panic as he pounded on the door, his hands trembling with fear. "Please, we need to make sure you're okay!".

But there was no response, only silence echoing back at him from the other side of the door. His heart sank as he exchanged a worried glance with Cas, the weight of uncertainty pressing down on him like a heavy stone.

"Cas, we need to get this door open", Sam urged, his voice laced with urgency as he turned to his angelic friend for help. "Something's not right. I can feel it".

With a determined nod, Cas focused his powers, channeling his energy into the door with a burst of light. In an instant, the lock clicked open, and Sam pushed the door open with a sense of dread gnawing at his insides.

But as he stepped inside, what he saw took his breath away. There you were, lying motionless in the bathtub, surrounded by water tinged with the faint traces of blood. Sam's heart clenched with fear as he rushed to your side, his hands trembling as he reached out to touch you.

"Y/N, can you hear me?", Sam's voice was thick with emotion as he gently shook your shoulder, his eyes wide with fear. "Please, say something. Anything".

But you remained silent, your eyes vacant and distant as you stared blankly ahead. Sam's heart sank as he realized the depth of your pain.

As Sam pleaded with Cas to heal you, desperation crept into his voice, his eyes pleading with the angel for help. But despite Cas's best efforts, his healing powers seemed ineffective against the depth of your injuries. You looked terrible, completely broken, your body bearing the physical and emotional scars of Dean's cruelty.

Gently, Sam scooped you up in his arms, wrapping a towel around you with Cas's help, mindful of your fragile state.

As he held you close, he could feel the weight of your pain pressing against him. With each sob that wracked your body, his heart broke a little more, his own tears mingling with yours as he whispered words of comfort and reassurance.

"You're safe now, Y/N", Sam murmured softly.

With each step, each movement, you cried out in pain, your broken body unable to withstand even the slightest touch.

Again Cas tried to heal you. His touch enveloped your broken body, his powers surging forth with a gentle glow. With a focused determination, he began to mend the shattered bones in your wrists and ribs, his efforts slowly easing the physical pain that wracked your body.

As the warmth of his healing magic spread through you, you felt a glimmer of relief wash over you, the sharp edges of your agony blunted by his divine intervention. But even as your physical wounds began to heal, the scars that marred your soul remained untouched, a constant reminder of the darkness that had consumed you.

With a heavy heart, Cas realized the limitations of his power. Despite his best efforts, he could mend your broken bones, but the wounds that lay within you ran far deeper than he could reach.

"I've done what I can for your injuries", Cas murmured softly, his voice filled with regret as he regarded you with a solemn gaze. "But healing your soul… that will take time".

Sam's heart ached as he watched you, his own eyes filled with a mixture of compassion and sorrow. He longed

Three long weeks passed before you found the strength to speak again, the weight of your silence bearing down on you like a heavy burden. With trembling lips, you finally opened up to Sam, your voice barely above a whisper as you recounted the horrors that Dean had inflicted upon you.

"I… I couldn't stop him", you began, your voice trembling with emotion as you struggled to find the words to convey the depth of your suffering. "Dean… he… he hurt me, Sam. He hurt me in ways I can't even begin to describe".

Sam's eyes filled with tears as he listened to your words, his heart breaking with each revelation. He reached out to you, his hand offering silent support as you continued to speak, recounting the brutality of Dean's actions with a raw honesty that left him reeling.

"I'm so sorry, Y/N", Sam whispered, his voice thick with emotion. "I had no idea… I never thought Dean could… could do something like that".

You shook your head, tears streaming down your face as you struggled to come to terms with the reality of what had happened. "I… I don't know if I'll ever be able to forgive him", you admitted, your voice choked with emotion. "I don't know if I'll ever be able to look at him the same way again".

From that moment on, everything changed. The lightness and laughter that had once filled the bunker were replaced by a heavy silence, the weight of your pain casting a shadow over everything you did. Even the thought of Dean filled you with a sense of dread and betrayal, and you found yourself withdrawing further and further into yourself, your hope for redemption slipping away with each passing day.

Six months had passed since Sam had succeeded in healing Dean from the darkness of his demonhood. As Sam carefully uncuffed him in the dimly lit basement, a sense of trepidation hung heavy in the air. Dean’s first question, as the shackles fell away, was for you.

“Where is she?”, Dean’s voice was filled with a mixture of concern and longing as he scanned the room, searching for any sign of your presence. But Sam’s expression remained firm, his resolve unyielding as he stood between Dean and the truth.

“Not now, Dean”, Sam replied gently, his voice tinged with sadness. “She’s… she’s not ready to see you yet”.

Dean's heart sank at Sam's words, a heavy weight settling in his chest at the thought of your absence. "I understand", he murmured, his voice barely above a whisper. "I'm… I'm not sure I'm ready to see her either. Not after what I did".

Sam's gaze softened with empathy as he looked at his brother, understanding the depth of Dean's guilt and remorse. "She's been struggling, Dean", he explained gently, his voice filled with concern. "It hasn't been easy for her these past six months. She's… she's hurt".

Dean's jaw tightened as he listened to Sam's words, the weight of his guilt pressing down on him like a leaden weight. "I know", he whispered, his voice thick with emotion. "And it's all my fault".

Sam reached out, placing a comforting hand on Dean's shoulder. "We'll get through this together, Dean", he reassured him, his voice steady despite the turmoil raging within him. "But it's going to take time. It's going to take a lot of work to earn back her trust".

As you entered your room, after a few days at Jodie´s, the familiar scent of Dean enveloped you, sending a shiver down your spine. It was a scent you had once found comforting, a reminder of the love and connection you shared with him. But now, it filled you with a sense of unease, dredging up painful memories that you had tried so hard to bury.

Unaware that Dean was back and healed, you began to unpack your belongings, your mind drifting back to the last time you had been in this room together. The memory of his touch, his laughter, and the warmth of his embrace lingered in the air, a bittersweet reminder of what had been lost.

Little did you know, Dean had been there just moments before, his presence lingering like a ghost in the room. He had come seeking solace in the familiar surroundings, hoping to feel some connection to you.

But as you moved about the room, your senses tingling with the weight of his presence, a sense of foreboding washed over you. It was as if the walls themselves were closing in, suffocating you with the memories of a love that had turned sour.

And as you stood there, frozen in place, the realization slowly dawned on you—Dean was back. He was here, in this room, just minutes ago, his presence a haunting reminder of the pain and betrayal you had endured.

Tears welled in your eyes as you struggled to come to terms with the truth, the weight of his absence and his return crashing down on you like a tidal wave. You knew that facing him again would reopen wounds, dredging up emotions you had spent months trying to suppress.

As tears streamed down your cheeks, Sam found you frozen in the room, your emotions palpable in the air around you. Concern etched deep lines into Sam's face as he approached, his footsteps slow and deliberate.

"We need to talk", Sam said gently, his voice filled with compassion as he reached out to touch your shoulder.

You turned to face him, your expression a mixture of anguish and resignation. "I already know", you whispered hoarsely, your voice barely above a whisper.

Sam's brow furrowed with concern as he moved closer, his hand lingering on your arm. "Y/N, I know this is hard, but you can't just run away from this", he urged softly, his eyes searching yours for some sign of understanding.

But you were already moving towards the door, your mind clouded with pain and uncertainty. "I can't do this, Sam", you choked out, your voice breaking with emotion. "I can't face him again, not after everything that's happened".

Sam's grip tightened on your arm, his expression filled with determination. "You don't have to face him alone", he insisted, his voice unwavering. "I'll be there with you, every step of the way".

For a moment, you hesitated, torn between the desire to flee and the need to confront the truth. But in the end, it was Sam's unwavering support that gave you the strength to stay.

With a heavy sigh, you nodded, a silent acknowledgment of the bond that bound you together.

As the days passed, the weight of Dean's presence hung heavy in the air, a constant reminder of the turmoil that engulfed your life. Despite Sam's assurances, you couldn't bring yourself to face him, the fear and uncertainty gnawing at your insides like a relentless beast.

Each night, you lay awake in bed, listening to the echoes of Dean's screams as he wrestled with his nightmares. His tortured cries pierced the silence of the night, a haunting melody that echoed through the empty corridors of the bunker.

And during the day, you remained holed up in your room, barricaded behind closed doors as you sought refuge from the chaos that threatened to consume you. The sound of Dean's footsteps outside your door sent shivers down your spine, the fear of his presence paralyzing you with its intensity.

Sleep became a distant memory, your mind plagued by a never-ending carousel of worries and anxieties. Dark circles formed beneath your eyes, a testament to the sleepless nights and endless torment that plagued your every waking moment.

In the kitchen, your hands trembled as you reached for another cup of coffee, the bitter taste a poor substitute for the comfort you so desperately craved.

Cas found you in the kitchen, his concern evident in the furrow of his brow as he took in your tired and worn appearance.

"Y/N, you look exhausted", he remarked softly, his blue eyes filled with worry. "Have you been sleeping at all?".

You shook your head, the weariness weighing heavily on your shoulders. "Not much", you admitted, your voice barely above a whisper. "It's been hard to find any peace, especially with him back".

Cas nodded in understanding, his expression sympathetic. "I can imagine", he replied gently. "But you can't keep going on like this. It's not healthy".

Tears welled in your eyes as you confessed your fear. "I'm afraid to sleep", you admitted, your voice trembling with emotion. "Every time I close my eyes, I hear Dean's screams and footsteps outside my door. I can't bear the thought of facing him again".

"I can stay with you while you sleep, if that would help".

Your heart swelled with gratitude at his offer, a sense of relief washing over you like a wave. "Thank you, Cas", you whispered, tears streaming down your cheeks. "I don't know what I would do without you".

A few hours later, the sound of the bunker door opening signaled the return of Sam and Dean from their hunt. Sam's footsteps echoed through the corridors as he made his way through the bunker, his expression a mix of exhaustion and anticipation.

"Hey, Cas, you here?", Sam called out, his voice carrying down the hallway.

Cas emerged from your room, his gaze meeting Sam's as he stepped into the dimly lit corridor. "Sam", he greeted quietly, his tone somber.

Sam's brow furrowed with concern as he took in Cas's grave expression. "What's going on?", he asked.

Cas hesitated for a moment before speaking, his words measured and deliberate. "Y/N hasn't been sleeping well", he explained, his gaze drifting back to your sleeping form on the bed.

Sam's glanced into the room, his heart sinking at the sight of you curled up on the bed, your face drawn and pale in the soft light.

"What do you mean?", Sam asked, his voice filled with worry.

Cas sighed. "She's been afraid to sleep", he admitted quietly. "So I offered to stay with her while she rests".

"Thank you, Cas", he said sincerely, gratitude evident in his voice. "I'll take over from here".

And as Cas nodded in acknowledgment, Sam stepped into the room, his gaze lingering on your sleeping form with a mixture of concern and tenderness. With Cas's help, he would ensure that you found the peace and rest you so desperately needed.

As Sam and Cas remained in your room, their voices barely above a whisper as they discussed your condition, Dean found himself drawn to the doorway like a moth to a flame. Despite Sam's explicit instructions to stay away, he couldn't resist the urge to see you, to reassure himself that you were okay.

With each hesitant step, Dean's heart pounded in his chest, his footsteps silent on the floor as he approached the room where you lay sleeping. He knew he shouldn't be here, knew he was risking Sam's wrath by defying his orders, but he couldn't shake the feeling that he needed to see you, to make sure you were safe.

As he reached the doorway, Dean's breath caught in his throat at the sight before him. You lay on the bed, your breathing slow and steady, your face peaceful in sleep. For a moment, Dean was transfixed by the sight of you, his heart aching with longing and regret.

But even as he stood there, a voice in the back of his mind reminded him of the pain he had caused you, of the darkness that still lingered within him. He knew he didn't deserve your forgiveness, didn't deserve to be anywhere near you after what he had done.

As Dean turned to leave the room, Sam’s voice cut through the silence like a knife.

“Dean, what the hell are you doing here?”, Sam’s tone was sharp, his eyes flashing with anger as he confronted his brother in the hallway.

Dean froze in his tracks, his heart sinking at the sound of Sam’s voice.

“I just… I needed to see her, Sammy”, Dean replied, his voice heavy with guilt and regret. “I needed to know she was okay”.

"I get that, Dean", Sam said, his voice softer but still tinged with frustration. "But she needs space, especially from you".

Dean nodded, a mix of shame and understanding evident in his eyes. "I know, Sam. I fucking screwed up", he admitted, his voice tight with emotion. "I just… I can't stand the thought of her being in pain and not being able to do anything about it".

Sam sighed heavily, his shoulders slumping as he tried to find the right words. "I know you care about her, Dean", he said gently. "But right now, what she needs most is for you to respect her boundaries. Give her the space she needs to heal".

Dean swallowed hard, the weight of Sam's words sinking in. "I will, Sam. I promise", he vowed, his voice filled with sincerity.

With a nod, Sam gestured for Dean to follow him away from the room. As they walked down the hallway together, Dean couldn't shake the feeling of guilt that weighed heavily on his heart.

One week later, Sam and Dean sat in the library, the weight of their conversation hanging heavy in the air. They had been discussing Dean's time as a demon, the darkness that had consumed him, and the pain he had inflicted on those he cared about.

After a long silence, broken only by the soft crackling of the fireplace, Dean spoke up, his voice choked with tears. "I can't do this", he admitted, his words barely above a whisper. "I can't live with what I've done to her".

Sam's heart sank at the despair in his brother's voice, the anguish written plainly on his face. He reached out a hand, placing it gently on Dean's shoulder, offering what little comfort he could.

"I know it's hard, Dean", Sam said softly, his own voice thick with emotion. "But you can't give up. You have to find a way to live with what you've done, to make things right".

Dean shook his head, tears streaming down his cheeks. "I don't know if I can, Sam", he confessed, his voice raw with pain. "I don't know if I'll ever be able to forgive myself for what I did to her".

Sam's heart broke for his brother, for the torment he was enduring. He wanted nothing more than to take away Dean's suffering, to ease the burden of guilt that weighed so heavily upon him.

Dean’s voice cracked as he continued, the weight of his confession pressing down on him like a heavy burden. “I hate myself, Sam”, he whispered. “I can’t even look at myself in the mirror anymore. Every time I close my eyes, all I see is… is what I did to her”.

"I know, Dean”, Sam said softly. “I know it’s hard, but you can’t let it consume you. You’re stronger than this”.

But Dean shook his head, tears streaming down his cheeks unchecked. “I don’t feel strong, Sam”, he admitted. “I feel broken. Like I’m irredeemable”.

"I know she'll never forgive me, Sam", he admitted, his voice barely above a whisper. "And I don't blame her. What I did… it's unforgivable".

Sam's heart clenched at Dean's admission, the weight of his brother's pain almost too much to bear. "Dean, you can't give up hope", he said gently, his voice filled with compassion. "People can surprise you. You just have to give her time".

But Dean shook his head, his eyes filled with resignation. "I've lost her, Sam", he said, his voice hollow with despair. "I've lost the love of my life, and the respect I had for myself along with it".

Standing in the hallway, you listened silently to the conversation unfolding in the library. The weight of Dean's confession and Sam's comforting words hung heavy in the air, their voices echoing through corridor.

Tears welled in your eyes as you heard Dean's admission of self-hatred and despair. The pain in his voice cut through you like a knife, stirring a mixture of emotions within you. Part of you longed to reach out to him, to offer him solace and forgiveness. But another part of you recoiled at the memories of the trauma he had inflicted upon you, the scars that still lingered both physically and emotionally.

Taking a deep breath, you silently retreated from the hallway, the weight of the conversation heavy on your heart. You knew that healing would take time, for both you and Dean.

Another week passed, the weight of the unresolved tension between you and Dean hanging heavy in the air. Despite Sam and Cas's efforts to provide support and comfort, sleep continued to elude both of you. And as Cas had to leave to attend to other matters, leaving you without his comforting presence, the nights grew even longer and more restless.

One evening, as you stood in kitchen, the soft glow of the overhead lights casting shadows across the room, you reached for a beer from the fridge. Your mind was consumed with thoughts of Dean and the tumultuous emotions that swirled within you.

But before you could retreat to the solitude of your room, the sound of footsteps drew your attention, and you froze as Dean entered the kitchen. The air between you crackled with tension, the weight of the unspoken words and unresolved emotions hanging heavy in the silence.

As you found yourself alone with Dean in the very room where he had caused you so much pain, a wave of fear washed over you, paralyzing you in place. Your breath caught in your throat, your heart hammering against your ribs as though it were trying to escape the confines of your chest. Tears welled in your eyes, blurring your vision as you pressed yourself against the cold surface of the kitchen counter, seeking any semblance of safety and distance from the man who had once been your everything.

For Dean, seeing the raw fear reflected in your eyes was like a dagger to his heart. The weight of his past actions bore down upon him, crushing him with the knowledge of the pain he had caused you. His own eyes filled with tears as he watched you retreat, his heart breaking at the sight of your distress. Seeing you pressed against the kitchen counter, seeking refuge from him, shattered him in a way he hadn't expected.

"I'm so sorry", Dean whispered, his voice thick with emotion as he took a hesitant step forward, his hands trembling at his sides. "I never wanted to hurt you. I swear, I never meant for any of this to happen".

His words hung heavy in the air, filled with the weight of his sincerity. But he knew that mere words could never erase the pain he had caused you. He longed to reach out to you, to offer you solace and comfort.

As Dean took another step forward, his expression wrought with anguish and regret, you held up a trembling hand, your voice trembling with a mixture of fear and anger.

"Don't… don't come any closer", you pleaded, your voice barely above a whisper, yet laced with a palpable sense of urgency. Your cheeks were wet with tears, your entire body trembling with the weight of your emotions. Every fiber of your being recoiled at the thought of him drawing near, the memories of his past actions haunting you like ghosts in the night.

"I can't… I can't do this", you continued, your voice wavering as you struggled to maintain your composure. "Not now, not ever. You… you've broken something inside of me, Dean. Something that can never be fixed".

Your words hung heavy in the air, a stark reminder of the irreparable damage that had been done. The distance between you felt insurmountable, a gaping chasm that stretched on for eternity.

Dean froze in place, his heart breaking at the sound of your trembling voice and the anguish etched across your tear-stained face. He longed to reach out to you, to wrap you in his arms and beg for your forgiveness. But he knew that he had no right to ask for such mercy, not after what he had done to you.

"I don't expect you to forgive me, (Y/N). Not after everything I've done".

His words were heavy with resignation, his gaze cast downward as he grappled with the enormity of his mistakes. The pain in his eyes mirrored your own, a reflection of the shattered pieces of both your hearts.

"I just… I just want you to know that I'm sorry", Dean continued. "I'll spend the rest of my life trying to make things right, even if I never earn your forgiveness".

As Sam stumbled into the kitchen, his eyes half-lidded with sleep, he froze in his tracks at the sight before him. The scene that unfolded before his eyes sent a jolt of adrenaline coursing through his veins, instantly banishing the remnants of sleep from his mind.

The sight of you, standing there with tears streaming down your face, your eyes wide with fear, pierced through him like a knife.

"Hey, hey, what's going on?", Sam's voice was soft but urgent as he rushed forward, his eyes flickering between you and Dean, who stood nearby with a look of devastation etched across his features.

The tension in the room was thick enough to cut with a knife. His instincts told him that something was seriously wrong.

With a sense of urgency, Sam stepped forward, his gaze never leaving yours as he reached out a comforting hand. "Are you okay", he asked, his voice filled with concern. "What happened?".

With a shaky voice and a forced calmness, you respond to Sam, "Nothing, Sam. Nothing happened". But the tremor in your voice and the haunted look in your eyes betray the truth of your words.

Before Sam could press further, you turn abruptly and practically flee from the kitchen, your heart pounding in your chest as you race towards the safety of your room.

As the door slams shut behind you, the sound reverberates through the quiet bunker. Inside the confines of your room, you collapse onto the bed, tears streaming down your face as you try to quell the storm of emotions raging within you.

Meanwhile, Dean stands in the kitchen, his fists clenched at his sides as he stares at the spot where you had stood only moments before. The silence hangs heavy in the air, broken only by the sound of his ragged breaths and the steady thud of his heart.

With a growl of frustration, Dean lashes out, his fist colliding with the wall with enough force to leave a sizable dent. Pain shoots through his hand, but it pales in comparison to the anguish that gnaws at his soul.

Tears prickle at the corners of his eyes as he sinks to the floor, the weight of his remorse pressing down upon him. He had thought that seeing you again would bring him some measure of closure, some semblance of redemption. But all he had accomplished was to reopen the wounds he had inflicted upon you, tearing them open with brutal force.

In that moment, Dean feels utterly lost, adrift in a sea of regret and self-loathing. He had shattered the one thing he had cherished most in this world, and now he was left to face the consequences of his actions alone.

As Dean sat on the floor, his back against the wall, Sam approached him cautiously.

"Dean, man, are you okay?", Sam asked softly, his voice tinged with worry.

Dean looked up at his brother, his eyes bloodshot and filled with tears. "No, Sam, I'm not okay", he admitted, his voice choked with emotion. "I don't think I'll ever be okay again".

Sam sinked down beside him, mirroring his brother's posture as they both sat in silence for a moment. "Dean, what happened between you two… it wasn't your fault", he said gently.

But Dean shook his head, tears streaming down his face. "No, Sam, you don't understand", he insisted. "I hurt her, Sam. I hurt her in ways that I can't even begin to comprehend. And now… now I don't know how to fix it".

"Dean, you need to forgive yourself first".

Dean's voice trembled as he spoke, the weight of his words heavy with shame and self-loathing. "How am I supposed to forgive myself, Sam?", he asked, his voice barely above a whisper. "How can I ever look her in the eyes again, knowing what I did to her? How can I live with myself, knowing that I… that I raped my own girlfriend because I was a fucking demon?".

Dean felt like he's drowning in a sea of guilt and remorse.

"Sam, you don't understand", he said, "This… this is worse than anything I ever experienced in Hell. Worse than purgatory. Since I've been back, since I'm no demon anymore, the pain of what I did to her… it's unbearable. It's like a constant weight crushing down on me, suffocating me. I can't escape it, Sam. I can't escape the guilt, the shame, the remorse. It's consuming me from the inside out".

"I don't know how to live with myself, Sam", he confessed, his voice barely above a whisper. "Every day, every moment, I'm haunted by what I did to her. And the worst part is… I know I don't deserve to be forgiven. I don't deserve to be happy. I don't deserve anything".

Sam's heart broke for his brother, knowing the depth of his pain. He reached out, wrapping Dean in a tight embrace, offering what little comfort he can. "Dean, listen to me", he mumbled softly, his voice filled with conviction. "I promise you, we'll find a way to make things right. But you have to hold on. You have to keep fighting".

For a moment, Dean allowed himself to lean into Sam's embrace, seeking solace in the comfort of his presence.

———————————

A/N: Please let me know what you think.🥰 

-

Part 3

[angeloftuesdayy]

Dean wakes up one night to strange noises coming out of the dark bathroom, the door only a crack open.

and inside he sees his little brother sitting on the floor. naked like the day he was born, covered in blood and guts and looking up at his big brother -alarmed like a frightened animal- with glowing yellow eyes. eating...

[impala-dreamer]

When The Rivers Rise

A Supernatural Story 

~Alone and unprepared, Y/N goes to collect Dean from the bar and convince him to come home. Sam says he has a cure, and she'll be damned if she doesn't at least try to get Dean on board...~

Demon!Dean x Reader, Sam, Castiel

6,331 Words

Warnings: NSFW, Angst, Smut, Demonic Charm, Fingering and Fucking, Mild Violence, Canon Everything, Choking During Sex, Choking not during sex, Lose of consciousness, Yada Yada

A/N: So basically, I took S10 E2 & 3 and smushed this in there. Please enjoy. I did. Published to Patron June 5, 2023

Impala-Dreamer’s Masterlist  ~  Patreon  ~ Published Works

The Flamingo Lounge was filthy. The parking lot was fenced in, littered with trash; its brick walls covered in graffiti as if the city’s youth used it as a canvas. Luckily, though, it seemed empty.

Y/N parked her car in the lot, not caring to lock the doors behind her. She double checked the syringes stashed in her jacket, made sure her gun clip was full. Really, there was no way to know what she was walking into, but she had to try, had to do something.

And she had to do it quick. If she knew where he was, so did Sam, and God only knew what Sam would be planning.

She walked in through the side door, letting her heavy boots thud and announce her presence. There was no reason to hide, anyway. Sneak attacks were never her speciality.

Soft piano notes filled the air, a half plucked melody that never quite turned into a song.

The room smelled of lingering cigarette smoke and stale beer, whiskey and maraschino cherries. The bar stools were vacant, the room empty save for the bartender and her target. She stopped by the counter; blue neon light shining down on her face. She grit her teeth and cleared her throat.

The music stopped and he looked up with a smile.

“Hey, Y/N.”

Dean. Her pulse quickened.

“Didn’t expect to see you.” His jaw twitched as he looked her over. “Thought it’d be Sammy who came callin’.” He cocked his head to the side, cracking his neck unnaturally.

Not Dean.

“Yeah, well, I thought I’d come see you first. Save him a trip.” Her voice felt so small. It crackled in her ears as fear welled up inside. She’d been tracking Dean for months and now, standing half a room away, she felt unprepared and severely out matched.

Dean chuckled under his breath and spun on the piano bench. His legs spread as he straddled the cushioned wood and he rubbed a hand down his thigh. Green eyes were piercing through her and Y/N shivered. She hadn’t felt his stare in forever, hadn’t known she’d feel it ever again.

He stood and she instinctively reached for her pistol.

“You know you can’t just shoot me, Y/N.”

He blinked. Blackness overtook the green and her heart sank. He could see it in her face, smell it pulsing off of her like thick perfume. She was terrified, disappointed, intrigued.

He laughed and made his way to the bar. “Oh. You weren’t sure, were you?”

She swallowed hard. “Sure about what?”

“About me.” He nodded at the bartender and Harv took a walk, dropping his drying rag on the bartop. “You knew what happened, that I’m… different now. Better. But you didn’t really believe it, did you?”

Shit.

Y/N dropped her hand to her side, dug her nails into her palm to steady herself. “Not really, no.”

Another little laugh left his lips as he leaned over the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. He cast a glance back at her, his eyes green again, his gaze hungry.

“Well, believe it. I’m new and improved, babydoll.”

His tone washed over her. There was a new grit in his voice, a different confidence that was so unlike him but so very much Dean that it made her head hurt.

“You’re a demon.”

He shrugged and plucked two glasses from the drying rack, turning them over. “Yeah. Cool, ain’t it?”

Y/N bit her tongue hard, hoping the quick flash of pain would clear her head a bit. “Not cool, Dean,” she spat. “Evil.”

One elbow on the bar, he turned to face her and grinned. “Sweetheart, you wouldn’t know evil if you were stuck in Hell with it. Which…” He looked around at the empty room and laughed. “I guess you kinda are.”

The emptiness of the room suddenly weighed down on her and Y/N took in a deep breath to steady her shaking hands.

Dean filled both glasses and then slid one across the bar for her. “Drink up. You’ll need it.”

Nervously, she stepped up to the bar and took the glass between her fingers. “Why? You gonna kill me?”

He sucked his teeth and let his gaze fall down her body, remembering, enjoying. “Maybe.”

Her heart thudded in her ears. “You haven’t decided yet?”

Dean knocked back his drink. “Nope.”

“That’s bullshit.” She took a sip and it burned down her throat.

“What?”

“You decided the second I walked in here.”

Dean refilled his glass while keeping one eye on her. “Actually, I didn’t. I was too curious to worry about what I’m gonna do to you.”

Y/N held the tumbler to her lips, breathed in the oaky fumes. “Curious?”

“Well, you walked in here, alone…” He licked his lips. “Lookin’- mighty tasty if you don’t mind me sayin’.”

Fuck.

Her blood sizzled. “I do mind. Asshole.”

Dean smirked and took a long drink. “And I thought to myself, Y/N’s a smart girl. She’s gotta have some kinda plan. Wouldn’t just walk in here by herself with no backup, no weapons, no nothing. She’s not an idiot.”

He paused to watch her reaction and found her stronger than he thought. She held his gaze without faltering and he moved closer.

“So, tell me, Y/N, was I right? Are you smarter than you look?” He licked a drop of whiskey from the corner of his mouth. “What’s the big plan?”

She refused to look at him lest she lose her nerve. She finished the last sip of whiskey and then pulled her weapons from her jacket. On the bar, she laid down her gun and three syringes filled with a harsh sedative. The smooth, eternally cool handle of the angel blade pressed into her side, but she kept it hidden beneath her shirt.

“There. There’s my plan.” She turned to face him and swept her hand over the weapons.

“You were gonna- what? Force me to OD?” He grinned, flashing perfectly white teeth and the pink tip of his tongue.

Y/N shook her head. “It wouldn’t kill you. Just knock you out.”

“And then?”

Her shoulders rose and fell in a confessional shrug. “Honestly, Dean, I didn’t think I’d even get this far, so… there’s no and then. Bring you home, I guess.”

“What if I don’t wanna go home?” he asked, taking a step closer. “What if I don’t have a home anymore?”

She held her breath. “You do. You’ll always have a home, Dean. Whether you want it or not.”

He laughed. “Lemme guess. Home is wherever you and Sam are. Where we chose to hang our hats.” He shook his head and sighed. “Home is dead, Y/N.”

Her heart ached. “It doesn’t have to be. If you come back with me, maybe we can-”

“What?” He cut her off. “Maybe we can pretend everything’s good? Play house? Oh, you wanna try being boyfriend and girlfriend again, act like we have a future?”

His words were a knife, but she bit her tongue again, refusing to give him a reaction. “Don’t be cruel, Dean. I’m trying to help you.”

He sucked in a breath and turned away. “See, I don’t really care about being helped. I’m fine. You’re the one who’s gonna need help in a minute.”

She pressed her arm down against the blade, reassuring herself that it was there and ready.

“You’re not gonna kill me, Dean.”

He looked back over his shoulder. “We’ll see.”

“Whatever happened to you,” she said, hope burning on her lips. “Whatever this is… It can be undone. You’re still you. You’re still Dean Winchester. You’re still-”

“Still what?” He spun on his heel and towered over her. “The man you love?”

Pain twitched around her eyes. “Yes.”

“You know what you are? You’re a sad little girl playing with shit she don’t understand.”

She stood up tall, finding strength in the marrow of her bones. “Sam has the cure. He can-”

Dean laughed and backed up, cocky and amused. “Sam’s probably dead right about now. I don’t know how much good his cure will do.”

Y/N froze. “What are you talking about?”

“Oh, you don’t know?” Dean clicked his tongue and smiled. “Some assclown called me from his phone. Got baby Sammy all tied up in a shed somewhere doing… something. I don’t know, I wasn’t really listening. But, that was a while ago. I assume he’s…” He slit his throat with a single finger and stuck his tongue out, mocking Sam’s apparent death.

Y/N shuddered, unable to hide the truth from him.

“So you didn’t know.” He spun back to the bad. “Sorry. Don’t shoot the messenger.”

She cleared her throat, pushed the worry aside. “That’s exactly what I came to do.”

She took a chance, lunging for the gun on the bar, but Dean got to it first, expertly disarming it and tossing it aside.

“You’re too slow, Y/N. Always have been.”

He poured them another drink while she regrouped.

“Tell me, how is it you don’t know where Sam is? You two’ve been attached at the hip forever.”

A bit of whiskey sloshed out of her glass and flooded the bar. She went to it, lifting her cup from the mess. “Yeah, not so much anymore.”

Dean leaned in, condescendingly. “Wanna talk about it?”

Y/N took a drink. “No.”

A month ago, Sam was losing his mind to grief and obsession, pushing Y/N aside at every turn as he tried to find his brother. The last straw was a torture session in a barn in Kentucky. Sam was slicing up a demon, carving into its stolen flesh, and when Y/N protested, he hit her, knocking her back against the rotting walls. They tumbled, fighting, screaming at each other while the demon watched, cackling from the center of the Devil’s Trap. When the dust cleared and Y/N came up bloody and bruised, she spat in Sam’s direction and told him to go to Hell. That was the last she’d seen or heard from him. He was on the same mission, but going about it in all the wrong ways.

She stared at the neon sign behind the bar. “We’re not exactly speaking anymore.”

Dean hummed and refilled his glass. “Funny. You and me in the same boat.”

Y/N huffed. “I chose this boat, Dean. You didn’t.”

He grinned. “You don’t think so? You don’t know all the fun I’ve had this summer, all the trouble I’ve gotten into. All the tail I’ve chased… and gotten.” She flinched, but he kept going. “All the drugs, the fights, the booze. It’s been a great time. You should join me.”

She laughed bitterly and downed her drink. “Pass.”

He frowned, mockingly. “I’m sorry. Does hearing all that hurt your feelings? All those chicks I’ve banged, dudes I’ve nailed… makes ya jealous don’t it?”

Y/N sighed and turned to look at him. “No. Just sad for you. And them.”

He took a step and she balked, moving away from the bar, her defenses on edge.

“Come on, now. I’m the best you’ve ever had. And I’ve only gotten better.”

“You’re an asshole.”

Dean grinned. “Baby, you have no idea.”

He moved closer, stalking towards her, forcing her to back up. His eyes were fixed on her face, intent obvious. His mouth parted gently as his tongue came forth to tease her, wet his plump lips. A strange mix of panic and arousal swelled in her gut and she reached into her jacket, pulling the angel blade free.

“Stop!” She twirled the blade in her hand and held it out in warning.

Dean laughed. “Really?”

“This kills anything, right? Human, angel… demon. If you’re two outta three, I got a fighting chance.”

Her voice was shaking as hard as her hand and Dean kept coming, boots thumping the stained carpet.

“Stay back!” she yelled, spreading her feet and bending her knees, taking a fighting stance.

Dean swept forward in a flash and grabbed her wrist. He twisted hard and she held back a scream as the bones threatened to snap.

The blade fell to the floor.

“Get off me,” she snarled.

Dean’s right hand curled against her lower back and he leaned in close, breathing in her scent. “You don’t mean that.”

Frozen, caught and confused, she gasped as he bent to kiss her. Squirmed as his tongue poked between her lips, thrashed as his fingers tensed on her ass. Swooned as the kiss lingered.

Fuck.

It was warm and wet and so Dean. She hummed despite herself and freaked out when he pulled away. She slapped his chest, shoved him hard.

Again, he pulled her close and his lips found hers. He licked at her mouth and exhaled into her, flooding her brain with desire, washing her body in lust filled memory.

“Stop it!”

Once more, she shoved him back with all her might, but it only made him angry. He stumbled back a pace and dipped his chin, daring her, enticing her, tugging on every string.

Oh god…

“Just- stay back!”

Dean’s upper lip twitched and he bared his teeth, advancing on her like a wolf in the wilderness. He wrapped himself around her, pushing her back until she hit the piano. Nowhere to go, she melted in his arms, let him probe her hot mouth, let him slip his knee hard between her thighs.

She gasped, hating herself for loving him. Hating her love for getting in the way.

“Stop.”

He pulled back an inch, burning into her with familiar green eyes. “If you really want me to stop, I will. Just say it.”

His breath struck her face, that dreamlike mix of whiskey and smoke and long faded mint. Her eyes fluttered and her pussy clenched. “No.”

He grinned, let his fingers trail down her cheek to wrap loosely around her throat. “No you want me to stop or no, you don’t won’t say it?”

Unable to think, to speak, to reason herself out of the moment, Y/N grabbed at his flannel with both hands and tugged him down. She licked at his lips, sucked on his tongue until he growled against her, thrust his hips into her.

“Knew you were good to go,” he moaned, fumbling with the zipper of her jeans.

Y/N clawed a hand through his hair and tugged, yanking his head to the side and licking at the sacred vein. She pressed her lips there and felt his heart beating steady. He still had a heart.

“Miss you so much,” she whispered, half gasping as he tore at her bottoms, tearing the denim from her hips.

“Oh, I know you did.”

He grabbed at her sides, slid his hands up beneath her arms and lifted. Her bare ass squeaked on the piano lid and Dean closed in on her, pushing her onto her back with a heavy kiss. She spread her knees around him, tugged him closed with her heels on his ass. He snuck a hand between them and grinned against her lips.

“You did miss me, huh?”

She nodded, breathless as he shoved a finger into her.

“So tight.” He added another and she gasped. “Thought you’d be runnin’ around like a cat in heat without me, but looks like you’ve been a good girl. Kept yourself all tight and virginal for me.”

Her nails scraped at his scalp. “I don’t know about virginal…”

A third finger jammed into her and Y/N bit her lip as the stretch burned.

“You been fucking other guys behind my back?”

His ring finger barely made it inside and her pussy clenched down hard on him.

“Nah.” He grinned and nipped at her lips. “You ain’t been doing nothing but dreaming about me, have you?”

She wanted to scream, to push him off, to run, but there was no escape. Not when he had his lips on her throat and his body pressed so hard against her.

“Yes…”

He pulled his hand away and pressed two fingers to her clit, watching in delight as he eyes lit up and a silent scream filled her mouth.

“You could come with me, you know.”

She snapped her jaw shut tight. “No.”

Drawing his left hand firmly down her body, he stopped at her hip and tugged her shirt up, exposing the blank protective ink over the bone. His thumb ran over the tattoo. “Sure you could,” he explained. “I’ll just cut this off… drag some bitch outta Hell… stuff her into you.”

Her body jerked as he forced his hand back into her cunt and Y/N grit her teeth. “Wouldn’t be me then, would it?”

He paused and shrugged. “Yeah, I guess not.” He tugged the shirt up higher and smiled as the thin cotton of her bra did little to hide her pert nipple. “I like you like this anyway. All scared and confused.” He dropped down and sealed his lips around the bud, tugging hard.

Y/N squirmed and let out a cry that rang like music in his ears.

“Fuck, I missed that sound.” He sucked again and bit down. “The whores I’ve been picking up lately, they just- it ain’t the same.” He straightened up and looked down at her. “Sex is just sex until you learn someone’s body. You can’t really fuck someone the right way until you learn how. You gotta pay attention… learn what makes them… squirm. What makes them scream...” He crooked his fingers and Y/N squealed, her thighs slamming shut around his arm. “See? Just like that.”

“Fuck, please!”

Her lips were burning from his kisses, stubbled lips leaving the ghost of his touch behind. Her body was aching, throbbing from his fingers, dripping down onto the piano.

“Dean-”

He bit his bottom lip and let it fall slowly away. “Love hearing my name like that. Never gets old.”

He pulled away before she could cum, leaving her struggling and needy. She reached for him, but he slapped her hands away and unbuckled his jeans.

“Lay still,” he grit.

Y/N sealed her lips shut and clutched the hem of her shirt. She eyed the exit, thought about jumping down and taking her chances outrunning him, but before she could take a deep enough breath, Dean jutted his hips against her and his cock slipped between her swollen lips.

Her shoulders jolted upright and Dean grabbed the back of her neck, tugging her down toward the edge of the piano. Her ass was hanging, teetering off the side, and she grabbed at his shirt, holding on as he fucked deep into her.

“That’s it,” he grunted, one hand on her hip, the other on her throat. “Fuck, I remember this cunt. So fucking wet for me. So tight.”

She gasped, eyes wide, heart racing. His thumb covered her pulse and he pushed down just enough to blur the edges of her vision.

“D-Dean!”

His hips snapped upwards, his breath quickened. He squeezed her throat tighter and watched as the color drained from her lips.

“That’s it, babydoll,” he urged. “Gonna get you nice and dizzy so you cum hard. I know you like that…”

She could feel it building, that tightness inside as he hit every spot she’d been unable to reach herself.

Green eyes blurred in her vision and then with a grin, he snapped them to black.

Y/N came instantly, her cunt pushing and pulling on his thick cock; a flood of warmth slicking down his thighs.

“Yes…” He thrust harder. “Yes… Just like that!” His roar was intense and Y/N’s eyes began to roll, her heart struggling to beat. “Yes!”

The room was fading to white; her head was spinning. Still throbbing, her cunt was the only thing responding as Dean finished with a grunting cry. Just before her eyes rolled back, he released his grip and oxygen flooded her brain.

Y/N gasped and caught herself, falling back onto her elbows on the polished wood. “Fuck!”

Dean flashed a cocky grin and tucked himself away, uncaring of the mess. “You still got it, Y/N/N.”

His wink was uncalled for and aggravating, but Y/N had no energy to clap back at him. Carefully, she rolled onto her belly and slid off the piano. Her muscles were aching, her flesh on fire.

Dean headed back to the bar and poured another round. He walked a little slower, his voice rolled a little smoother off his devilish tongue.

“Can’t say I’m mad you stopped by,” he joked, swirling the whiskey in his glass. “Turned out pretty good after all.”

Y/N yanked her jeans up and grimaced as the seam scraped at her raw pussy. “Just think how much better it would be at home, in the Bunker, where you belong.”

He laughed. “Really? After all that, you’re gonna try again?”

She stumbled forward, grabbing the bar for support. “I gotta keep trying, Dean. You need help.”

Sighing, he knocked back his glass. “See, that’s where you’re still wrong.”

Behind him, the door creaked open and Y/N’s eyes went towards the light.

Dean didn’t have to turn around, he knew.

“Hiya, Sam.”

Shit.

Sam let the door shut behind him and he walked in, arm held in a sling, face cut up and bruised.

He locked eyes with Y/N and her stomach tensed. They hadn’t spoken in weeks, and seeing him now, it all rushed back to her.

“Sam.”

He nodded at her and moved to stand equidistant from her and Dean. The triangle was a familiar one, but strange altogether.

“What are you doing here?” he asked, eyes flickering between them.

Y/N swallowed down her anger and swept the sweaty hair from her eyes. “Same as you, I guess.”

Dean laughed. “I highly doubt he’s here for that, Sweetheart.” He brought his right hand to his lips and licked her taste from his fingers. “Unless…”

She shuddered and Sam’s brow creased.

“We’re gonna take you home, Dean,” Sam said, ignoring the obvious sexual confession. He turned his back on Y/N and focused on his brother.

Dean rolled his eyes. ”Yeah, I don’t think so. I told you to let me go.”

Sam’s shoulders tensed. “You know I can’t do that.”

Dean pursed his lips and nodded. “Yeah. Well…” Reaching behind him, he pulled the First Blade from his belt and showed it to them both. “Sucks to be you, don’t it?”

For a moment, Y/N felt calm. Almost as if her soul had decided to give up all hope and accept the fact that Death was on His way. She exhaled slowly and imagined what it would feel like, that sharp jaw bone splitting her in half, gouging through her chest with one quick sweep of Dean’s hand. Would he be quick or let her linger? Would he weep for her in the end? Would he care?

Sam held up a hand, begging for patience. “Dean, you don’t have to do this. We can cure demons-”

Glass shattered behind Y/N and she turned to see the window break. A smoking canister landed by her feet and she looked at Dean, confused and flooded with panic. As her brain and feet got themselves together, the smoke rose around her and she covered her mouth and nose, too late. She started to choke her and beside her, Sam coughed loudly, waving at the smoke to push it away. He inhaled too deeply and stumbled forward, grabbing her shoulder for support. She buckled under his weight and fell to her knees in the cloud. It strangled her from every side, burning her lungs, stinging her eyes. She crawled towards the door and felt Sam’s big hand on her back, pulling her to her feet.

“Come on!”

He hit the door, pushing it open and knocking fresh air into the room, but it was already inside of  them.

Y/N staggered out behind him, barely able to stay on her feet.

Confused and bleary-eyed she saw Sam fall, knocked out by a stranger’s fist.

She rushed out of the bar, leaving the smoke behind and slamming into the arms of Sam’s kidnapper.

“Who the hell are you?”

Blue eyes and a crew cut stared back at her and Y/N coughed, expelling poison from her lungs.

“Me?” she swayed on her feet and swatted at him. “Who the fuck are you!”

Cole grit his teeth and pulled a gun from his thigh holster, easily spinning to take Y/N in his arms and aim the muzzle at her temple.

From the back of the parking lot, Dean appeared, cool and seemingly unaffected by the attack. He held out his arms, cocked a brow as he looked at Cole, wondering who the fuck was bothering him now.

Y/N held still but seethed, nostrils flaring, anger sloshing about in her dizzy head.

Cole’s forearm pressed hard against her throat and he pointed the gun at Dean.

“Wow. It’s really you.”

Dean clicked his tongue. “We met?”

“Talked on the phone.”

“Right.” Dean laughed under his breath. “You’re the guy who’s supposed to put a bullet in Sammy’s brain.” He dipped his chin and smirked, cocky and unimpressed. “Did you miss?”

Dean took a step and Cole tightened up. Y/N clawed at his arm but didn’t have the strength to fight him off.

“Dean-” Her voice was shattered and weak.

Cole pressed the gun against her head again. “You stay there or I’ll-”

“What?” Dean leaned in casually. “You’ll put a bullet in her too? You don’t exactly have a great track record for that.”

Cole growled. She could feel it rumble through his chest and into her. “I’ll do it.”

Y/N blinked up at Dean, begging, but for what, she wasn’t sure. The calm of Death approaching had settled over her once more.

Dean shrugged, his eyes locked on Y/N’s. “Do it,” he said. “I don’t care.”

She drew in a breath and everything changed. Cole’s grip on her loosened and she ducked from his arm, ready to rush forward and out of the line of fire. He grabbed her arm and brought the butt of the gun down hard on the back of her head. She saw sparks, heard a yell, felt the rough gravel of pavement scrape her face.

When she woke, she was back in her bed in the Bunker, blanket smooth beneath her, boots still on. She’d been carried inside but not tucked in.

Sam.

Her head was pounding, mouth somehow dry and wet at the same time. She swallowed down the guck and rubbed her eyes as she climbed out of bed.

The halls were quiet, the lights bright as always. She peeked into Sam’s room, but it was empty, dared a chance at Dean’s, but he was nowhere to be found either.

What the hell?

A pained, demonic roar echoed down the hallway and Y/N pushed off of her backfoot, breaking into a run.

The dungeon door was open, the decoy shelving pushed aside.

She looked in to see Dean tied to a chair, his face covered in thick sweat, right arm bloody from needle punctures. Sam stood to the side, watching his brother writhe in pain.

“Sam?”

She stepped into the room and both men looked up.

Dean grinned through his strangled panting. “Heya, Sweetheart.”

She rushed forward and Sam stopped her, stepping in her way. He towered over her and looked down, hazel eyes filled with hurt and purpose. “Don’t.”

Dean sucked in a hard breath, lungs burning, blood boiling.

Y/N tried to circle Sam, but he barred her with his good arm.

“What are you doing to him? You’re killing him- look!”

Sam shook his head and gave her shoulder a shove. “Out. Now.” He grabbed her arm and dragged her to the door.

Dean watched her leave, struggling with consciousness. “Good to see ya, Y/N/N!”

Outside, she ripped her arm from Sam’s giant paw and growled up at him. “What are you doing in there?”

He sucked a breath through his teeth. “Curing my brother.”

“Looks more like you’re killing him! Can’t you hear him screaming? That can’t be good.” She turned to the door and again, Sam blocked her.

He softened, lowering his voice and easing his stance. “Look, I know you’re worried but-”

“But what? You’ve got it all under control as usual?”

He dropped his head. “He has to go through this. He’ll survive.”

She looked up, tears wetting the corners of her eyes. “How do you know? How do you know this won’t actually rip his soul apart and kill him?”

He let his head fall back against the door, resting for a split second. “I don’t.”

Hours ticked by with Y/N pacing the halls, listening as Dean’s wretched voice echoed through her, tearing at her heart.

Sam wouldn’t let her inside, but she caught glimpses of Dean when Sam came out for air. He was dripping in sweat, slumped down in the chair.

“Are you sure about this?”

He brushed past, barely holding on himself. “Honestly, Y/N… I don’t know anymore. But we’re almost done. He’ll either come out of this cured or-”

She held her tongue. “Yeah.”

Sam turned left and headed towards his room.

“Sam?”

He paused before rounding the corner.

“Should you and I- I mean, we should probably-”

He held up his hand, but was kind when he turned. “I know. We need to talk. I need to apologize. I just need- I gotta finish this first. I need to save him.”

Y/N nodded. “I know, Sam. I know.”

Sam had been gone for a while, so she took a chance.

Y/N slipped into the dungeon with a bottle of water and a damp cloth, her heart in her throat, her head in a vice.

Dean was limp in the chair, his chin tucked to his chest, eyes gently closed. She toed the Devil’s Trap, watching, praying to see a breath.

“Dean?”

He stirred and she sighed. “Thank God.”

A chuckle lifted his face to hers. “God ain’t got shit to do with this, babydoll.” He smiled and then coughed, heavy, painfully. His chest heaved, his mouth fell open as he strained for air.

“Dean… fuck.”

Before she knew it, she was inside the sigil and kneeling at his feet. She pressed the cool washcloth to his forehead and he sighed gratefully as she wiped the sweat from his brow.

“That’s… that’s nice.” His voice was cracked, throat raw from screaming.

She patted his cheeks, his throat, lay the cloth across the back of his neck.

“Are you OK?”

She looked him over, certain he was near to fading. His arm was torn from the needles and she could swear The Mark looked paler, as if Sam’s cure was pulling the evil from it. Maybe it was working…

Dean smiled. “Oh, sure. I’m fine. Don’t worry about me.” A cough shook him badly and Y/N held his cheek, unable to help.

“I’m so sorry, Dean. It’ll be over soon. I promise.”

She cracked open the bottle of water and held it to his lips, urging him to drink.

He managed a tiny sip and then pulled back.

“I’m dying, Y/N/N.” His head lolled to the side and her heart ached.

“No.” She grabbed at his flannel and shook him gently. “You’re gonna be fine. You’re Dean Fucking Winchester. You are going to be fine. You hear me?”

Green eyes rolled back to white and Y/N set her hand on his chest, rubbing hard.

“Hey! Hey! Dean! No. Wake up!”

She slapped his cheek and he sucked in a heavy breath, gasping loudly as his eyes snapped open.

“Oh, Jesus, Dean!”

Before relief could set in, Dean’s fingers wrapped tightly around her wrist and his pained smile turned into a devilish grin. He squeezed and her pulse quickened.

“What’re you doing? How?”

She looked down to see the ropes that had held his arms frayed and broken. “Dean?”

A blink shattered his beautiful green eyes and only black remained. He laughed. “You showed up just in time…”

It was like a rush of wind inside her head and all around.

In a flash, Dean had her up off the floor, her feet dangling, throat clutched in his big hand. He slammed her against the wall and held her there, lungs screaming, eyes bulging. He traced a hand down her body and tilted his head to the side, watching the blood rise to the surface of her skin. Aroused even as her breath died away.

“See, I don’t get you.” He let her slide down the wall until her toes scraped the floor. “Sammy warns you not to come looking for me by yourself and you do. He tells you not to come in here, and not only do you ignore him again, but you bring me a bottle of water. You came in here to take care of me. And for what?” His fingers squeezed and she felt her heart strain to pump. “You think you can ease my pain? Make it all better?” He brushed a hand over her breast and grinned. “Or maybe you think I’ll fuck you again.”

He tossed his head back and laughed.

“You’re a stupid little girl.” He blinked away the black and dipped his lips to hers, kissing her sweetly. “But I do enjoy watching you suffocate… I never told you that before, but it’s beautiful. Your eyes get real wide and the color starts to drain from your mouth. This sweet, delicious mouth.”

He forced his tongue inside and Y/N’s eyes rolled back. She clawed at his arm, but the strength was gone, the will fading close behind. Her vision ebbed and her fingers slid from his arm, falling limp at her sides.

“Do me a favor, babydoll,” he whispered, licking at her lips one final time. “Wait for me right here.”

With a flick of his wrist, she was on the floor, falling like a ragdoll at his feet. Air filled her lungs but she was already too far gone to wake fully. She tried to move, but everything was a struggle, everything ached.

“I’ve gotta go take care of my baby brother.” He ran a hand through his hair and she watched in horror as he stepped out of the Devil’s Trap. “Then I’ll be back for you."

Kind blue eyes were there when she woke and soft hands were helping her to sit up.

Castiel smiled sadly and lay his palm across her forehead like a mother would.

“How are you feeling?”

Y/N blinked rapidly, clearing the haze from her eyes. She squinted up at the angel and then panicked.

“Dean!” She scrambled to her feet, leaping from her bed and grabbing his arm for balance. “Where’s Dean!”

Castiel took both of her hands in his and forced her to calm down. “He’s fine. He’s…” A smile turned his pink lips. “It worked, Y/N. Dean’s back with us.”

It felt like the walls were crumbling inside of her. Everything slid downwards and she went with it, falling against Castiel, her body exhausted, her mind a mess of relief and worry.

He sank to the floor with her and held her close.

“He’s going to be fine,” he whispered. “You are too.”

The summer rushed through her head, ups and downs, horrors and worse. She saw black eyes and blood, felt every bruise, every strike against her flesh.

She wiped her eyes and sat back. “How?”

Castiel looked down, eyes sad but clear. “Time.”

Dean was sitting on the edge of his bed, fresh from a shower. His hair still damp, gray flannel a little dark around the collar from collecting the drippings. He was hunched over, elbows on his knees, head in his hand.

She knocked gently and he looked up.

“Hey, Dean.”

He turned as he stood and started to go to her, but something stopped him. Flashes of what he’d done played on the empty space between them and he lingered over the bruises on her throat, the cut on her forehead. His fingers were twitching and he shoved his hands in his pockets to hide the unwanted movements.

“Hey.”

She wanted to run to him, to wrap her arms around him and hold him close, but he looked nervous to have her there, scared almost.

She cleared her throat and wrung her hands. “You feeling OK?”

Eyes on the floor, he nodded. “Yeah. All good.” He looked up through his lashes, afraid to face her fully. “You?”

She sniffed back a wave of tears and swallowed hard. “Yeah. I’m- I’m good.”

The lies hung like an iron curtain between them, massive and unbreachable.

She turned to go. “Well, if you need anything, just holler.”

He was on her before she reached the door, shaking fingers wrapping around her wrist and pulling her back. She spun and crashed into his chest, burying her face in his shirt, clinging to him. He was warm and alive. He was safe. He was home.

She could feel him trembling, hear the shaky intake of air. He held her tight, his big hand on the back of her head, the other slung around her middle. He pressed his cheek to the top of her head.

“Y/N, I can’t- I- I’m so sorry-”

His heart was racing against her ear and she snuck her arms around him, locking him to her.

“Don’t,” she whispered. “We don’t have to do that yet. Just… just be here.”

A tear escaped his eye and fell, landing on her arm.

“OK.” His hug grew a little tighter. “I’m here.”

She sighed and let the tears go. “That’s all I ever needed…”

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[lambmotifz]

the heartbreak in sam’s eyes…as if he didn’t feel guilty enough already

[imaginesbymonika]

Red lights.

Plot: If guilt had a name it would be Dean Winchester.

Pairing: Dean Winchester x sister!Reader

Warnings: mention of violence, mention of Demon!Dean, needles, blood, fluff in the end but only a bit

Everything happened so fast. So very fast.

The red lightning, which emerges from the lamps above you turns the bunker into a place you're unable to recognize. This whole situation has been feeling like a never-ending nightmare for a while and now it was also looking like one. Dean has always reassured you, that while the world around you was filled with ghosts and demons he would always look out for you. And you never questioned him. However, right now, you were hiding from him as if he turned into one of those monsters he swore to protect you from. You look up you can notice it in Sam's eyes. You're not the only one terrified of your oldest brother.

"Smart, Sam. Looking the place down. Doors won't open. I get it." His deep voice is echoing through the empty and cold hallways. "But here's the thing. I don't wanna leave. Not till I find you two."

Your relationship with Dean has always been different from the one you have with Sam. While the younger brother actually feels like a brother to you, Dean has always meant more to you. After all, he practically raised you since you were a little child. However, at this moment, while his hammer was destroying the door, you tried your best to still see him in all of this. He may be a demon, but underneath all of that hatred your brother had to remain… right? But it becomes much more difficult with every second that passes. You take a deep breath.

"Y/N.", Dean suddenly says and Sam instantly pushes you behind his bigger body. "Oh, come on.", you can see how a fake pout emerges on his face:" I just want to talk to my sweet little baby girl." For a moment he lowers his weapon as he stares you down through the shattered wood:" Don't think, that I won't also kill you. I can still sense my love for you, however, it is not enough for me to save you. But if you help me kill Sammy, I might make it quick for you." There's a ringing in your ears. "Don't listen to him.", Sam whispers but his voice is muffled and feels unbelievably far away.

Dean has never ever threatened you. Even when you were much younger and he had earned a beating from John, because of something that you did on his watch… he never ever threatened you before. It was something that seemed impossible to you. But now it had happened and it filled you with an unknown emotion.

"Come on.", Sam speaks and clutches your hand, bringing you back into reality. You two rush through the red hallways and after a minute or two you stop. Sam takes a deep breath and when he turns around to face you, his eyes widen in fear. You don't even have time to properly react before he pushes you to the cold ground. And when you look up, you make eye contact with Dean. His hammer sticking to the wall. It was hurled with such an immense force that it makes your jaw drop.

"Oh man, looks like I missed.", he says softly:" Can I try again?" There is a sincerity in his voice that makes your skin crawl. You nearly throw up. Meanwhile, Sam's knife is close to his throat. So close, it's almost making him bleed.

"Do it!", the oldest brother angrily hisses, his spit dripping down his chin. But Sam's arm just drops after a few seconds. You shut your eyes, not knowing what is about to happen next before you unexpectedly hear Castiel's voice. "It's over!"

You sit on the floor next to the door, your back is leaning against one of the shelves while you observe how Sam pushes yet another needle into your oldest brother's forearm. A weird emptiness has been filling you up for a while now, and while you should be happy that Dean is back at the bunker… you can't help but feel drained. "Are you okay, Y/N?", Castiel asks, and when you eventually tear your eyes off Dean's unconscious body you only nod.

Sam sighs:" He almost killed her." Castiel's eyes widen in shock, as his head snaps towards him. "He did what?" You want to defend Dean, but before you can answer someone groans. Castiel notices how you quickly get up from your spot, and softly nudges you to stand behind him. His grip on his knife tightens to the point where his knuckles are white. Meanwhile, Sam was slowly opening up the bottle with the holy water.

Dean lifts his head and when you notice his black eyes you can't help but feel sick. You quickly turn around and throw up into the corner. Sam and Castiel exchange a quick but worried look. The blackness quickly fades and when his normal eyes scan the room he takes one final deep breath. "You look worried, fellas.", he jokes, but no one laughs. You turn around at the sound of his voice, before wiping your mouth with the back of your hand.

Without waiting a second longer, you snatch the bottle out of Sam's hand and toss the liquid into Dean's face. A pleased sigh escapes your lips when you acknowledge that there is no smoke. "Welcome back, Dean!"

"How is he holding up?"

Sam, who is entering the room looks over at the angel. "Well, he is still a bit out of it, nevertheless, he is doing better." You look up from your book. "The whole thing really took a turn on him- he… he just feels really guilty." The last word leaves Castiels lips as a whisper as if he was hoping you wouldn't hear it. But you did.

A knock on the door catches Dean's attention and he shifts on his bed before sitting up straight:" Yeah?" He expected to see either his brother or Castiel, however when he makes eye contact with you his jaw clenches. "Hey.", you say and slowly walk into his room. You sit down on the edge of the bed. A soft but tired smile emerges on your lips and Dean mirrors it. "Hey."

"I just- I just wanted to check in with you.", you explain and your brother nods. A silence falls over the two of you and you clear your throat:" Remember- Remember when we were younger… you came back from a hunt and you were hurt and John was… god knows where. We didn't have anything in the fridge except for some eggs and cheese."

At that Dean laughs:" And you made me that god-awful omelet? Of course, how could I ever forget about that? My arm was broken and I had the worst stomach pains on top of that." Once again you both sit in silence before Dean runs a hand down his face:" I am so sorry, Y/N." The sound of his voice breaks your heart and you move closer to him:" It's okay, Dee." He just chuckles dry. You know that he won't ever believe you.

[jays-bonnie-on-the-side]

𝐋𝐞𝐟𝐭 𝐀 𝐌𝐚𝐫𝐤 - 𝐏𝐫𝐨𝐥𝐨𝐠𝐮𝐞

PAIRING : dean winchester x original female character

STORY SUMMARY : in series masterlist

CHAPTER WARNINGS : age-gap. pining. teasing. underaged flirting. language. violence. gaslighting. gun play. murder. description of death.

A/N: i've had this series replaying in my mind for over a year. i'm so happy to share with everyone and i hope you enjoy it as much as i do. i've got big plans for this story! thank you all for your support, feedback (preferably good) is always appreciated!

check out the teaser if you haven’t already.

Maricela's POV

I've known the Winchester brothers for four years now. I was fifteen when they visited Kenosha, Wisconsin, on a hunt for a Lamia. I remember hearing the roar of the Impala's engine pull into the gas station before it drove to the opposite side of the pump I was using. The motor's purr cuts just before the driver's side door creaks open, freeing a tall and handsome specimen. Once he reappeared from behind the pump, I did a double take. I couldn't help but stare at the man who wielded the most beautiful green eyes, trying to place where I'd seen them before. The longer I studied his chiseled face, the more familiar it seemed.

The man noticed my gaze and turned to look at me. He gave me a small smile, and I realized what I had been doing. I tear my attention away while my cheeks begin to heat, embarrassed.

"I'm sorry," I say, focusing on the ground. "You just look really familiar."

"Oh, I don't know about that," his deep voice responded. "I'm not from around here."

I nodded, taking in his words, but felt in my gut that he wasn't telling the entire truth. Instead of thinking too hard about it, I push it to the back of my brain and look at his sweet ride.

"Pretty nice car you got there." I compliment.

"Thanks," he says before flashing me a charming smile.

I was instantly mesmerized by him. I had no intention of ceasing our conversation in hopes of becoming closer to him while I had the chance. Who wouldn't do the same? Regardless of any age difference.

He looked away and stared into the distance, getting lost in his head. I clear my throat before speaking again.

"What year is it?" I ask, trying to keep the conversation alive.

"'67." He answers proudly.

I ask, genuinely curious, "What kind of engine does it have?"

A slow smile spreads across his face as if the question doesn't get asked often. He nods for me to follow him, and I smile as my plan succeeds. He pops the hood from inside the car before walking towards the front of the Impala. As I pass the driver's side door, the man sitting inside gives me a tight-lipped smile. I give him one in return, then turn my attention back to the gorgeous man as he props the hood.

"Impressive. Let me guess—this baby pushes out 460 hps." I comment, staring at the redone engine.

"461. How did you...?" He trails off. I catch him staring at me in my peripheral vision. I turn to the attractive man and can't help but smile even wider at the amazement shining bright in his eyes. He thrusts his hand out and says, "I'm Dean."

I take his hand and squeeze, giving him a firm handshake. "I'm Mari."

"Ma-dee...?" He repeats in question.

I giggle at his uncertainty and nod at the correct pronunciation of my Spanish name. "Yes, sir."

"What's a girl like you know about engines?" He smirks, leaning against his now-closed hood.

"I know a thing or two." I shrug nonchalantly. I heard the gas pump jerk, indicating that my tank was full. "I should get that."

I turn to walk back before his voice stops me.

"Hey, uh—you wouldn't happen to know where the nearest motel is, do you?"

"Wow, Dean, I'm flattered, but I like to be 'wined and dined' before we sixty-nine." I causally joke.

His eyes widen with shock as the blush rises to his cheeks, his jaw dropping slightly. I found it arduous to keep my smirk hidden after his overt reaction. His head shakes violently, his hands rising in defense before speaking.

"What? No, I didn't mean—I don't want to—Not that you're not—" His green eyes quickly skim every inch of my body. "I'm not saying you don't look good 'cause wow—but I just—"

This man, who exudes confidence, getting so flustered over my words was unexpected. I couldn't help but stop his self-torture with a laugh.

"I'm just fucking with you."

Relief washes over his features before letting out a large breath. After a chuckle, he says, "You're good, really had me going there."

"Well, if you're this easy to rile up with words, I can only imagine how well you'd respond to actions." I smile at the vulgar things I had in mind.

To say I surprised even myself with my comments is an understatement. I have never been confident enough to speak to any guy like this. Let alone one this jaw-droppingly sexy, but he definitely brought that side out of me.

A mischievous smirk plays on his lips as he gets closer. "You've got a dirty little mouth there, sweetheart."

"You going to clean it out for me?" I say seductively before sinking my teeth into my bottom lip.

Dean's eyes widen again, but he tries covering it with a huge grin. He opens his mouth to reply but gets cut off by the man in his car attempting to mask the words "jail bait" with a cough. I can't help but laugh; he wasn't wrong. The man standing in front of me turns red once more.

"Why don't I give you those directions?" I offer, hoping to ease the awkwardness.

He nods, giving me a shy smile. He thanked me after I gave him the information.

"No problem." I walk to my car and grab the nozzle from my gas tank. I put it back into its machine while he does the same. "I hope to see you around."

He winks before I slip into my front seat. I smile at his small but powerful gesture and pray the last words I spoke to him become true.

And they did, just not in the way I would've imagined. What I didn't expect was to see a monster—a real monster—attack someone important to me. Two FBI agents tracked me down in my hometown for an interview. And just my luck, the agents happened to be the gentlemen I met earlier. Their faces were just as surprised to see me as I was them.

A knock sounded on the front door. I pause my movie before surreptitiously peeking out of the living room window that faces the street. My eyes widen as I see a familiar classic car parked outside my house. My heart rate spiked, knowing that the Impala could only belong to the man I met just the other day. Panicking, I push myself off the couch and run to the bathroom.

I look in the mirror and see a nightmare staring back. My eyes were red and puffy, and my hair was in shambles. I heard another knock, but this time louder. With no time to run a brush through my bird's nest of hair, I groan in frustration. I drag myself out of the bathroom before the rapid pounding begins against the front door.

"Coming!" I yell while combing my fingers through my thickly tangled brunette curls.

I stand just before the door and take a moment to breathe. After straightening the sweats I chose to lounge in, I curse myself for not being presentable at a time like this. I suck in a breath before reaching for the door handle, bracing myself for the judgment and embarrassment that was guaranteed to come my way. In one quick motion, I swing open the wooden door to see the two familiar, tall, handsome men standing before me.

Their eyes became wide as they recognized who I was. I self-consciously sink into my hoodie, shy from their attention.

"Mari..." says Dean, just as surprised to see me.

"What are you guys doing here?" I ask, confused.

"We're uh, we're FBI agents. Just came to ask Maricela a few questions." The gentleman with long hair answers. "Is she home?"

"That's me," My eyebrows knit together. "Wait a minute, you're FBI agents?" I ask, not believing them as I eye up their suits.

"Yes." Dean and I locked eyes, and I could tell from his facial expression that he was hiding something.

"Let me see your badges." The words spilled out of my mouth.

They exchanged a look as if they didn't know what to do. They fumbled over their words before I cut them off.

"Well," I cross my arms. "Let's see it."

"Look, I don't think we need to—" Dean starts.

"Then you're not coming in. Plain and simple." I sass, standing my ground to the suspicious strangers.

Sighing in defeat, they pull their badges from their inner suit pockets. I push my glasses up the bridge of my nose before taking their badges for a closer look. My eyes thoroughly examine their IDs, noticing an off detail, realizing why they were, or at least Dean was, hesitant about showing their badges. I hand them back before recrossing my arms.

"So... Jimmy, huh?" 'Dean' looks at me in confusion before the realization dawns upon his face. "I recalled you introducing yourself as 'Dean.'"

"Well, uh..." I see him struggle for an excuse. "I go by my middle name. Each time someone called for 'Jimmy,' my dad and I didn't know who they were referring to. So yeah, I—uh, I go by Dean."

I give him a 'you've got to be joking' look. He clears his throat and smiles, trying to play it cool.

"Right..." I stare at his face, hoping to magically remember where I knew him from—other than the day we met. Knowing my luck wasn't great, I brushed it off once again.

"May we come in?" Mr. Robert Plant asks.

With the faintest nod, I step aside to let them pass. Once they were in, I closed the door and led them to the living room. They settled on the couch and nervously smiled at me as I sat across from them.

"Are your parents home?" 'Dean' asks.

I shake my head. "No, they're not. But I'd rather get this done and over with, so please make this quick."

They nod before starting. "All right, tell us how you knew the victim. Then, walk us through what you saw last night."

I take a shaky breath, trying to steady my nerves. "Luke and I had been friends for a while. I had the biggest crush on him. I figured he only liked me as a friend, so when he asked me to dinner, how could I have said no? He wanted to drive down to Kenosha and try this new restaurant."

"So, it was a date?" 'Dean' questioned.

"I guess you could call it that. Everything was going great until I stepped away to use the restroom. When I came back... Luke was with another girl." I replay the awful memory. "She was all over him. I was furious! Why ask me out, then allow some random chick to finish our date? It just didn't make any sense. But I refused to stay and watch, so I left..."

My voice began to waver as the emotions I felt the night before came rushing back.

"I called my best friend to come pick me up. While I waited, I decided to go back and confront him, giving him a piece of my mind. That's when I found him..." I hesitate, fearing they wouldn't believe the truth of what I witnessed.

I didn't expect them to, especially since the local cops didn't. For two sole reasons: One. Who ever listens to the crazy person who says monsters are real? Two. I was a minor, and no one takes you seriously if you're under the age of 18—even then.

"Found him..?" 'Dean' asks, sitting at the edge of his seat. My eyes found his, and just for a moment, I felt safe in the comforting pools of green.

My lips part, contemplating what to say next. Hesitation got the best of me, so I settled on; "Dead."

They nod, taking in my statement. "You told the police you saw a monster kill Luke."

I give a dry laugh before nodding in agreement, my gaze wandering. "Yeah, I did."

"Is there anything more you can tell us about this so-called 'monster' you saw?" Robert questions.

"What's the point? You're not gonna believe me. No one else does." I shrug.

"Hey," 'Dean' made it a point for me to make eye contact with him before saying, "We just want to help. So, try us."

I bit the inside of my cheek while frantically searching his beautiful green irises for clarity. His brows furrowed, woven with hope yet silently pleading to trust him. So, with a deep breath, I confessed. "When I went back, he—uh, he was on the ground, and she was... eating him. She looked human, but her face—it changed."

"Changed? Changed how?" Robert eagerly inquired.

"I swear it warped into something snake-like."

The men exchanged glances before fixing their attention back on me. "How did she escape?"

"She heard other people coming near us and ran off. I tried running after her, but she turned a corner and was gone. I called the cops but not before seeing the huge gaping hole in Luke's chest." I numbly say as I stare off into thin air, as his lifeless and mutilated body flashes behind my eyes.

"All I know is whatever that thing is, ain't human. She's a monster, and I swear, she's gonna get what's coming to her." I seethe.

After persuading me to tell the truth, they tried convincing me what I witnessed, what that monster did to my friend, wasn't real.

"Look, Mari," 'Dean' started. "Forget what you think you saw, all right? Cause monsters aren't real. The sooner you realize that the sooner you can cope with your loss."

"My partner's right. It's easy to think that some—" Robert lifts his fingers to add air quotes. "—'monster' could be responsible for your boy friend's death, but the FBI can assure you, there's no such thing. In certain traumatic events, the witness can alter reality the more they try to remember what happened. It could just be that you have an overactive imagination. It happens all the time, especially in kids. I think that's what's going on here."

I glare at them in disbelief. How dare they come into my house and feed me lies—telling me I have an 'overactive imagination.' As natural as breathing, I begin expressing my anger.

"I don't care who you are—I know what I saw. This thing will continue to kill people until it's caught. So why don't you quit wasting your time selling me something I ain't buyin' and find the damn thing!" I say each and every word louder than the last, anger fueling the fire they only fanned higher.

Silence fell between us. It was evident that my outburst caught them off guard, but I couldn't care less. Time and energy were being wasted by trying to convince me otherwise. I take a deep breath and collect my thoughts before getting up from the couch to walk out of the living room.

"Now, if there's nothing else you need from me—" I say while opening the front door. The men take my hint and begin walking towards me. Robert delivers a stiff smile before walking out of the house, leaving me alone with 'Dean.'

"Thank you for your time." He mutters before exiting my home.

"Hey, Page," I called just after he walked down the porch steps. He pivots to meet my gaze. "If you don't find this thing, I will."

With a nod, he turns back around and heads for his car. As soon as they drove away, I threw myself into research. I couldn't shake the feeling that I knew these two from somewhere.

I soon found myself down a rabbit hole.

"Oh shit..." I murmur, finding what I was looking for but not what I expected. Then, it all dawned on me.

Sam and Dean Winchester.

Milwaukee, Wisconsin. That's where I knew them from. They came in January of 2007 and took hostages in a bank before escaping, dressed as SWAT agents. They were a huge story, especially since they were wanted for other heinous crimes. Those of which included—credit card fraud, breaking and entering, disturbing a crime scene, impersonation of law enforcement, assaulting an officer, breaking out of jail, mass murder, kidnapping, arson, grand theft auto, grave desecration, and lastly, desecration of corpses. I felt sick to my stomach, knowing I was alone with them. Yet, all I could think about was what they wanted and why they didn't hurt me if they had such a rap. My mind kept racing and racing until I made a plan.

After an hour, I had a theory on what kind of monster killed my friend. So, I decided to confront the mystery men and pray they really were here to help. After changing, I traveled down to the city where they stayed.

I pulled up to the motel and braved myself with a deep breath before exiting my car. I clutched the gun in my purse as I walked over to their room. With determination, I knocked on their door. My heart hammered against my rib cage, wondering if what I was doing was a mistake. Dean opened the door, and his eyes instantly widened. I brush past him and walk into the middle of the room while taking a quick scan, ensuring it was just us three before turning to face them. Without wasting a beat, I jump into business.

"I know who you are," I assert with as much confidence as my voice could muster. "Sam and Dean Winchester."

Their faces dropped at the mention of their real identities.

"Now," I begin. "I want the truth. Who are you."

"Well, if you know our names, you should already know who we are," says Sam.

"I read what the articles wrote about you, even what law enforcement officials have tried charging you with before you were 'killed.' Yet, here you are: alive." I take the loaded gun out of my purse and aim at the brothers. "So tell me, who are you."

The men raised their hands in surrender, no doubt startled to see me wield a deadly weapon. What'd they expect? That I'd walk into the lion's den unarmed? I might be foolish, but I'm not stupid.

"Woah, woah. Mari, put the gun away. It's not a toy." Dean said, taking a step closer.

"No shit, Sherlock." I steady my trembling hands. "Now, somebody better start talking, or I'll start using this thing."

"Okay! Okay!" Dean shouts after hearing the click of the safety release from the trigger. "We'll tell you. Just please, put it down."

I hesitate but lower the weapon at a 45-degree angle, not ready to put it away completely. "You're right. I'm Dean Winchester, this is my brother, Sam. But we're not what everyone says we are. We're... we're hunters."

My brows narrow in confusion. "Hunters?"

"We hunt monsters. We try to save as many people as we can. It's our family business."

I take a deep breath before saying, "I thought you said monsters weren't real."

The brothers seemed to relax when I put the safety back on before shoving the gun back into my purse.

"We had to. It was for your own good. You're too young to learn about the things that go bump in the night." Dean says before sitting at the table near the window, across from Sam.

"I appreciate it, but I can make that decision on my own."

"If you really want to know, it was a Lamia that killed Luke," Sam says, trying to ease the tension between his brother and me.

I nod. "Yeah, I know."

Sam furrowed his eyebrows. "You know?"

"Yeah," I pull out the folded paper I printed earlier. He gets up from his chair, walking closer so I can hand it to him. "I did some research and came across it. Figured it could be a possibility."

"So why did you come here?" Dean asked.

I shifted my eyes to meet his. "Because if those allegations were true, you would've killed me. And you didn't... You came to me, looking for clues to—to help. Bad guys don't do that."

I watch as his eyes soften. He gives me the tiniest smile before nodding.

"Now, how do we kill this thing?" I ask.

"No, no, no." Dean gets up from his chair and walks over.

"What? I'm going to help you kill it." I declare.

"I don't think so, sweetheart." He quickly towers over me. "Leave it to the adults."

"You don't scare me, Dean Winchester," I say confidently.

The truth is, I was—just a little. His lips parted as if he was going to say something back but he didn't.

"I think it's best if we take care of this," Sam interjects.

I fought with them long and hard until I finally wore them down. They agreed I could come with them as long as I stayed out of the way.

We ascended the steps of the church and pushed the heavy doors open. The men led the way before stopping in front of the altar. I gasped once I saw the priest's dead body lying on the floor with his throat cut open.

"Damn it!" Dean cursed. "She got to him first."

"What do we do?" I ask, frightened.

"Call Bobby," said Sam before the Lamia made her way from the back room.

Dean whipped out his phone and dialed whomever Sam referred to.

"What's another way to kill a Lamia?" he eagerly asks. He looks to the priest lying at his feet before saying, "It didn't pan out. What's Plan B?"

While Dean took instructions, the Lamia charged toward us. She dodged Sam's punch before grabbing his clothes and flinging him across the room. He hit the pillar before shouting for his brother. Ignoring me, she runs over with supernatural speed and snatches him away from the column that kept him upright. Dean sprints to the back room just before the Lamia throws the tall man to the floor like he was nothing.

She then straddles him, wrapping one hand around his neck before hissing. Her fangs and forked tongue were on display, just like they were the first time I saw her. Fear freezes me in place, trapping me in the memory of Luke's murder. She uses her unoccupied hand to press her fingertips against Sam's chest as if she were going to plunge it into his body. He tries prying her hands away with no luck. The monster begins to dig her quickly, growing claws into the man, forcing out a pained cry. The sound of his torture pierces through my comatose state, snapping me out of it.

Without second-guessing, I feel my body rush towards the monster, tackling her off the youngest Winchester. I quickly crawl over and grab the knife near Sam. I stand, holding the large blade in front of me. She pants heavily as a slow smile spreads across her face. The same one that burned in my memory that fateful day.

That was enough for me to lunge the large knife at her. She quickly dodged and tried attacking back, only for me to do the same. I finally land a strike on her arm, slicing her skin open. Yet, just as fast as it appeared, I watched her heal. The sudden realization that she couldn't be weakened easily had hit me like a truck. She took the opportunity to jump me, knocking the knife out of my hand. We wrestled on the floor before her strength dominated.

"I remember you." Her voice spoke. "You're the girlfriend."

"Shut up." I hiss while trying and failing to push her off of me. Her taunting laughs echo off the church's walls.

"I've got to say, your boy toy tasted amazing." She adds to the torment. A fresh set of tears fills my eyes. I turn my head and see the knife not too far away. I look at her again while I reach for the knife. "Don't worry, sweetie. He didn't suffer... that much."

My fingertips lightly grazed the edge of the handle. With one last stretch, I grasped onto it, and with one swift motion, I jammed the blade into the monster's throat.

"I said—" Her eyes widen in shock before I yank the knife out. "Shut up!"

She stumbled off, allowing me to get away. I push myself off the ground and run towards Sam, still lying on the floor.

"C'mon." I pull him up with all my strength before shifting some of his weight onto me.

We stumble to the back room where Dean was with the Lamia on our asses. Once we were in the kitchen, Dean tossed what seemed to be herbs out of the bowl he held at the evil creature. She flinched as if it had stung while Dean pulled the stove away from the wall. The monster fixed her eyes on the older Winchester, ready to pounce. I threw myself in her path before she—very easily— flung me out of the way. I groaned in pain as I tried to sit up. Sam followed my actions, only for him too to be cast aside.

"Fire in the hole!" Dean shouted before lighting the gas that seeped out of its line.

We watch as the Lamia burns to a crisp while listening to her violent shrieks. Once she was dead, Dean cut the gas, putting out the fire. My chest rises and falls, trying to calm down yet attempting to register everything that just happened. Dean walks in front of me and offers me a hand. I hesitantly accept before he pulls me off the floor.

"Are you all right?" he asks.

I nod with reassurance before Sam walks over to us. "I'm fine."

"It's over now." Dean rubs my back. "She can't hurt anybody else."

After the hunt, they took me out to dinner. It was less eating, at least for me, and more them giving me the talk about all that is dangerously real in the world. It goes without saying I became a hunter that day. Once I turned 18, I made it a full-time job. As much as Dean hated the fact that I fell into hunting and as much as he tried to stop me, I would help them on cases if we were near one another. After hunts, we always found time to hang out. They became my closest and most trusted friends, family even. We were always there for each other, especially at our lowest. Sam was the big brother I never had, while Dean was the crush I never seemed to get over.

Since the day I met him, my feelings for the older Winchester have only grown stronger. Each moment spent with him was bittersweet, knowing I was so close yet so far away from where I craved to be. But anything was better than nothing at all. Even with Sam's year-long encouragement, I refused to tell his brother how I felt in fear of rejection. The timing was another reason I hadn't confessed my undying love as each Big Bad became worse than the last. Things got a little more complicated when every angel fell from Heaven only to receive worse news when I called Dean to question 'The Global Meteor Shower.'

"Mari," Dean's hoarse voice spoke. "It's Sam... He's in the hospital."

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[holylulusworld]

Demon Knife - Angsttober 26

Summary: You need something from Dean.

Pairing: Dean Winchester x fem!Reader

Warnings: angst, implied abandonment, Lisa is a bitch in this one, mentions of slime (monsters), Dean being a douche, no happy ending

Trope: Friends to enemies

Kinktober vs Flufftober 2023

“Hey, open the door,” you’re panting heavily, but you made it to Dean’s door. Or rather his new girlfriend’s door. You harshly knock again. He just needs to help you.

“Who are you, and what do you want?” Lisa mutters behind the closed door. “I got a gun.”

“I’m a friend of Dean,” you lick your dry lips. “I’m in trouble…or not. I mean…it’s complicated.” You feel dizzier per minute. “Listen, I don’t have time to explain things. But I need to wash this stuff off me." You slur. Fuck. The slime the monsters spat at you starts working. “I need…fuck…”

“You’re drunk or on drugs. I’m not going to let you in,” she says and locks the door. “Go away. I got a child.”

“I only need water and salt to wash it off,” you lean your head against the door. “I’m not drunk, miss. I…the slime…I feel…”

You end up on the ground, darkness consuming your mind and body as loud voices lull you into sleep. You recognize one of them. It’s Dean.

 “Lis’ she doesn’t mean anything to me. Y/N is an old friend. A hunter. I guess she needs something from me. I’m not going to go with her or let her stay.”

“You shouldn’t have come here.” Great. That’s the first thing you want to hear after waking from another nightmare.

You groan and rub your tired eyes. “Y/N, you can’t come here, drunk and angry.” He shakes his head. “I got a new life.”

“Christ, you are as dull and unhelpful as your girlfriend,” you jolt up on the backseat of Baby, cursing because you are only wearing one of Dean’s old shirts. “Hello, Baby. I’ve missed you.” You pat the backseat.

Dean watches you get out of his car. He sighs and runs one hand down his face. “She’s not dull, nor unhelpful. But you came here. Drunk.”

“I wasn’t drunk,” you grunt, and stomp your foot. “It was the slime making me feel dizzy. All I needed was some water and salt. I told that bitch so.”

“She’s not a bitch either,” he grits his teeth and jerks his head toward your bag in the front seat of Baby. “You should get your shit and leave.”

“I wasn’t drunk, only influenced by the slime.” You sigh deeply. The man standing in front of you is not the man you used to know. “I came here because I need one of the books in the trunk of Baby.”

“You could’ve asked Bobby,” Dean watches you snatch your bag from the seat to get a pair of jeans and a shirt out. You strip his shirt off, throwing it at Dean. “He’s got more than enough books.”

You ignore his harsh tone and the way he watches your every move.

While he tells you it was a mistake to come here, you throw your jeans on, followed by your shoes.

“I need a specific book to find a way to kill those monsters. The last one belongs to Bobby, but Sam—” You bite your tongue. It’s the first time you have said Sam's name since he jumped into the pit to defeat the devil himself. “He took the book and it’s still in the car.”

Your voice shakes as you remember the day you and Sam bickered about the book. He wanted to read it first but gave in and let you read it first.

“I know there was a remedy to neutralize their slime, and I need Ruby's knife.”

“You came all the way out here for a book?” He cocks a brow. “Really.”

You exhale sharply through your nose. “I told you that the book is the last one. Believe me, this is the last place I want to be.”

“Why do you need the knife?” He watches you dress in the hunter’s uniform. A shirt and a plaid you stole from him years ago.

You don’t look at him. Not after what he said last night. His words still echo in your mind, and you once again tell yourself he’s not worth your tears, or the heartbreak you still feel.

“Well, with two Winchesters down, and the last one living the apple pie life, the remaining hunters must do thrice the work. Now the monsters believe they can defeat anyone. If the Winchesters can fall, or if they can make them skip out on the job, those bastards believe we are all quitters.

You sneer when Dean tries to put his hand on your shoulder. “Y/N, we talked about this. Sammy wanted me to have a normal life.”

“Yeah, but why did you…Why her?” You sniff. “I thought…maybe…” You shake your head and swallow the words burning your tongue. “Forget it. You’ve got a new life. I hope you’re happy. Now, if you just handle me the knife, I’ll be on my way.”

Holding out your hand you try to not look at Dean. “Sweetheart, maybe you should quit too?”

You chuckle bitterly at his words. “I tried, but the man I loved chose some yoga instructor chick he met once over me. So, stop acting like you care and give me the knife.”

“I-“ Dean sighs deeply. “If that’s what you want.”

“No, but it will keep me alive. Because the man promising me to always have my back left me for some other girl.”

Dean hands you the knife. He watches you grab the book from the trunk, sniffling as your eyes land on the makeshift bookmark Sam made for you stick out of the book. “Do you need anything else?”

You huff and shake your head. “I’ve got it handled. Bobby will help me bring those slimy bastards down,” you lift your eyes from the book to glare at Dean. “He’s going to have my back.”

With that, you turn your back on Dean, to stuff the book and knife into your duffle bag and sling it over your shoulder. “Y/N, wait…”

“Save it, Winchester…” you look over your shoulder. “Maybe you should change your name too. Because we all believed that Winchesters aren’t quitters. At least Sammy was brave enough to save the world…”

It’s a low blow, but you deliver it with a smirk. Dean visibly flinches at your words but doesn’t say a thing. He just stares at you, unsure if anything he says will change your opinion.

“You should tell your girlfriend to not fuck with everyone knocking at her door. Not everyone has enough impulse control to not punch her.”

You walk out of the garage, regretting only one thing. That you must leave Baby behind…

“How’d it go?” Bobby asks as you get into his car. He nods as you show him the book. “I guess now we can get rid of these slimy bastards. How’s the boy doing?”

“Plays house with his yoga instructor. He told me to leave so,” you push the tears away, “let’s roll. I don’t want to stay in his neighborhood for too long.”

“I’m sorry kiddo…”

Bobby and you took the monsters down. It was a hard fight, and you needed the help of another hunter, but you made it.

Even though it was a struggle to forget about Dean, you managed to not think about him for the better of three months.

It gets easier to not have him around, grinning goofily, while telling you a dirty joke. You almost don’t miss his enthusiasm for food, or how he sang along to the songs he loved on the car rides you miss so much.

It almost feels like you never had feelings for him. Almost. Only this dull pain remains in your chest. But it will fade soon, you’re sure about it.

One day, Dean Winchester will only be someone you used to know…

[sprovod]

INTERROGATION

Reader is the demon behind multiple murders on a case Sam and Dean are working. The two manage to get her in custody, but Dean decides to do the interrogating by himself. Reader is female, mentions of smut and dark themes!

Dust illuminated from the dirty windows and floated slowly through the damp, cold room Grace was bound in. Her eyes fluttered open, a gentle grunt leaving her chapped lips. She jerked as she took in her surroundings, panic ensuing when she realized she had her hands shackled behind her back. Every movement she made bounced off of the concrete walls, echoing. Her eyes landed on her bound feet as she tried to rip herself forward, catching red spray paint marks that created the demon trap which enveloped her, illuminated by the dingy hanging light above. She then took note of the two tables and several shelves which were all decorated in what seemed like landscaping tools and weapons, along with jugs of what she could only assume was holy water garnished with rosary beads. She internally cursed herself, squeezing her eyes shut and leaning back. A sharp exhale left her nose, and with every inhale she made it felt as if she was getting punched in the face with the smell of mildew and dander.

Chatter was what ripped her from her thoughts, her head snapping forward to the iron door about seven feet ahead of her. It sounded like two men quietly arguing with each other behind the door, then a set of footsteps heading in the other direction. After a moment, the heavy door creaked open, light from the hallway ahead illuminating the silhouette of a man. She squinted, and before she could make out a face, the door slammed shut and swallowed the figure in darkness. Slow, shifting footsteps inched towards her as she stared with both anger and anticipation. The man stepped in front of the red demon trap painted on the floor beneath same dusty hanging light. There stood Dean Winchester in the flesh; the man she was told to avoid at all costs - and here she was, captured and bound to his advantage.

“Do you wanna explain why we found four bodies mutilated on the outskirts of town, or are you gonna be a bitch about this?” He glared, crossing his arms and widening his stance. His head tilted, an eyebrow raised as he waited for an answer. “No clue.” Grace responded, shrugging and leaning back in the cold chair, unable to hide her cocky smirk from him. Despite how freaked out she was, she still had the nerve to test the man before her. He let out a dry chuckle, looking down and shaking his head, “Okay,” He said, shrugging and stepping over to the one of the tables, “I can play that game.” He answered in a gravely voice, grabbing a jug of holy water and turned back to the girl. She stared at the clear bottle, watching the wooden rosary float through the water. His grip on the handle tightened, his forearm flexing as he did so. She ground her teeth in anticipation, “Do your worst, Winchester.”

- ♡

A scream erupted through her lungs as he splashed more holy water on her. Her clothes clung to her skin, coagulating in a mix of blood, sweat, and holy water. Her skin sizzled; she thought if he splashed her anymore it would slip right off. “You ready to talk yet?” He growled, swishing around the liquid in his now half full jug. “I’m not telling you shit!” Grace yelled in between breaths, looking up at him through eyelashes and hair that stuck to her forehead. He smirked, locking eyes with hers. His grin quickly turned into a scowl, splashing the last of the holy water on her. Once again, she screamed and cried, panting as she squeezed her eyes shut. He tossed the empty jug to the side, the rosary inside clanging against the plastic walls of its damp enclosure. After a few moments of his silence and her heavy breathing, she regained her composure and glared up at him. Being a demon and getting doused in holy water was similar to getting a tattoo - it hurts during the process, but almost immediately after the needle leaves your skin, the pain resides.

“You know, its funny,” She started, catching his attention as his brows furrowed together while grazing over different knives and weaponry that were splayed over one of the tables before eventually reaching a water bottle full of more holy water. “All these fun little toys you have, and you wanna stick to holy water?” She smirked. He stopped his movements, before shrugging and pursing his lips. “I figured the holy water would make you talk,” He started, grabbing a knife nearby and turning to her. She watched his every movement, eyes locked on the knife momentarily. He stepped closer to her, standing inches away. She was eye level with his hips, his hands down at his side, right hand gripping the leather handle of the cold, serrated, iron weapon. She looked up at him as he bent down, the two eye level. He placed his left hand on her neck, causing her to wince as he dug his nails into her soft flesh, “But if you think a little violence will make you talk, I can do that too, Sweetheart.” He sneered, his right hand planting the knife against her neck, gently running it across her warm skin. She shivered at his touch, her lips parting and eyes widening as he did so.

“It’s a shame, really,” He said lowly, “To take such a pretty little vessel and turn it into this.. monster.” He sighed, looking at the girl with disgust which earned him an angry look from her. “And to commit such horrible acts, its makes it even worse..” He said, adding pressure to the knife and drawing blood. His words were laced thick with condescending nature. She whimpered as his grip on her neck tightened, jerking her hands against her restraints. “God, if you wanted to fuck me, you could have said so.” She replied sarcastically through strained breaths, smirking. It seemed to catch him off guard for a moment, causing him to let go of her slowly and back up. “You think this is a joke?” He asked, standing up straight and glaring at her. He displayed a look of disbelief on his face. The energy in the room shifted and the air grew thick. “I think you’re a joke.” She replied, attempting to calm her own nerves with her cocky humor. Bad idea.

With a sharp inhale, he tossed the knife to the table, a loud clattering noise echoing through the room as the iron made contact with the surface. Looking down and chuckling to himself, he shook his head. “You just don’t get it.” He said, causing her smile to fade quickly. “You killed four people, and you don’t even have the balls to own up to it.” He growled, “This entire town is horrified of what’s out there, of who’s killing who, and mother’s out there having to bare the thought of burying their children; and you don’t care.” He raised his tone, stepping closer, “You need an attitude check, you need to get put in your place.” He said, “You need to know what it’s like to suffer how your victims did; and ill make sure to be the one to do that. Do you understand?” He said, inches from her face. She shoved her feelings of fear back down her throat, simply shrugging at him and smirking.

His hand collided with her cheek, and before she could react to the impact, he grabbed her throat with force and used his other hand to grab a fistful of her hair to make her look up at him. She would rather die one thousand deaths than admit that he was making her stomach do circles, waves of heat rushing through her core. She looked up at him with big eyes, full of shock, her brows furrowing as her cheek grew red with pain; her lips turning blue from the lack of oxygen. He dug his thumb into her jaw, “I said, do you understand?” He graveled, squinting. She nodded as quickly and as best as she could, squeezing her eyes shut as she did so. Small noises of struggle left her throat as he grinned, “Good girl.” He said condescendingly. He let go of her neck, allowing her to breath, but still holding onto a large clump of her hair on the back of her head. She glared up at him, a look of anger mixed with fear painted on her face. He scoffed,

“Great. Let’s get started then, Sweetheart.”

[chaoticfandomgirly]

Someone: What is your favourite TV show.

My family: *whispers* oh no.

My friends: *face palms* fuck.

Me: *practically vibrating with excitement* So two of my favourite shows are basically very gay Bible fanfictions where demons are dicks but the Angels are even bigger dicks. Except there is one Demon and one Angel that are almost always good. The Angels in both of them are autistic coded. And their love interests probably, very likely have ADHD. But that's not important. Both of them are biblical satire and did I mention they are Gay? Because they are! Very much so. Also, another one I Iike is about an Alien who travels in a blue telephone box....

[night-night-stories-before-bed]

A horned protector

Warning ⚠️ ; Cursing, mention of past character death, abuse of alcohol, blood.

Pairing; none, reader is inside a male body

Summary; You don't enjoy it, and neither do the brothers, but the three of you are stuck together because of their father. John Winchester outsmarted you, binding you in a deal to watch and protect his sons. Well, only Dean. And tonight, you are doing just that.

Ps; I did not mean for this story to be this long. Hope y'all like a long read!

~~~~~~~~~~~

Being a demon wasn't always easy or fun. For example, you were stuck with two hunters who despised your existence and wanted nothing more than to kill you! So why stick around? Because their father had outsmarted you on a deal. You were still mad about it.

You had known and tormented John Winchester for years. You used to have fun stalking him during his hunts or just following him and messing around. You could remember that time you followed him on a vampire hunt, exaggerating everything; the sneaking around, the search for clues. You even put on a Sherlock Holmes costume!

Oh, how John hated you! He even once tried to run you over with the Impala. It was good memories. Well, until that night when John summoned you specifically on a crossroad. It was shocking and unexpected.

You could still remember the seriousness and solemnity in his eyes as he made his deal with you. That upon his death you would watch and protect his sons against Azazel. Well, mostly Dean. For some reason, John had put an emphasis on protecting his eldest boy. But there had been a trick; that he could still make a deal with another demon if its meant protecting and or saving his sons.

You hadn't believed it would happen. It was so precise!

And then it did.

John Winchester had died and the deal had to be followed.

It had been a few years and you had failed not once, but twice. Sam had been stabbed to death and Dean had made a deal, ending with his soul being dragged into hell. Yes. You had failed miserably and it was pitiful. You had given your all even when the boys had tried to kill you, you stayed around to watch over them, but it was as if an outside force had been against you.

It intrigued you, especially now that you had learned about the so-called ‘prophet’ the brothers had met and who was a writer. That Chuck had written about their life, even about you, which had been both a surprise and shock with how accurately he had been describing some events. It also made you wary. What other capacity did that man have? Could he hurt Dean and Sam?

Those thoughts were on your mind as you walked toward the brother’s motel room. The Impala was parked in front of it, guiding you in the right direction. The boys were hunting something, you didn't really pay attention to what, for the past week. They were lost in the middle of Texas on a full moon and you could tell it impacted them differently.

Sam, bless his heart, stayed happy and festive researching their monster restlessly. You hadn't seen him for the past two days but knew he was fine thanks to Dean.

Dean who was the one taking it the worse. While he kept smiling for his little brother you saw the emptiness behind his eyes, the way he clenched his jaws and how his nights were filled with nightmares. Dean didn't know you knew as you came only when they slept by fear of either getting shot or stabbed.

Well, except tonight.

You had gone out of your way to get the boys more supplies for their hunts after seeing they were getting low. Silver bullets and knives, salt and you even braved the Church to get some holy water, burning your hand on the process. But it was a small price to pay if it could help keep the Winchester brothers alive.

The bag hanging on your shoulder, you moved your free hand to unlock the door the the brothers’ room, calling for Dean.

- “Hey pieface, guess what I got for y'all!”

You barely finished your sentence when a shadow mover in front of your eyes. You barely had the time to duck, dropping the bag, before pain exploded in your face.

Hand clenched tightly around Dean’s wrist, your demonic eyes stared at the eldest brother with both amusement and pride. You chuckled as you forced Dean to remove the knife from your cheek. A few inches more and you would have dropped death.

- “My, my! Look at the mess you are making Dean.” You said, your demonic eyes turning to the blade as blood poured out of your opening cheek. You could feel the flesh hanging against your jaw, exposing your teeth. “Better clean it up before Sammy comes back.”

- “What the fuck are you doing here?” Dean asked, snatching his wrist out of your grip.

- “Bringing you some gift!”

You bowed down, grabbed the bag and shoved it in Dean’s arms. You watched him walk to the table and drop everything on it. You could smell the scent of alcohol clearly, almost as if you had the bottle right under your nose. You frowned, watching closely as Dean examined everything.

The eldest brother was clearly tipsy now that you watched more attentively. You clicked your tongue annoyed with how careless Dean was. You knew how he had a lot on both his shoulders and mind, but the bottle wasn't the answer. Yet, you said nothing, your eyes looking around to see the bottles of beer and other alcohol around the room.

With a wave of your hand, you moved them all together before proceeding to clean. You felt Dean’s gaze staring holes in your back and almost laughed, but didn't. You just remembered what day it was.

Today was the anniversary of John Winchester’s death.

You sighed softly as you put the last bottle in the trash back before turning your attention to Dean. He had dropped down on the bed, feet hanging from the mattress and his back turned to you. For a second you imagined him as a small pouting child, which he kinda was. You didn't want to know just how bad the situation would turn out when Sam would come back…

You left Dean pouting on the bed and went to take care of your face. Grabbing a needle and some thread you stitched your cheek back together before taking off your shirt and washing it in the sink. You didn't want to trigger Sam with the smell of your blood, knowing how hard the boy had worked to get ride of his addiction.

Clean, you walked out of the bathroom to get ride of your blood that had fallen on the ground. Still on the bed, Dean stared at you, eyes clouded by the alcohol. You clicked your tongue like a disappointed father before looking at him.

- “You are on a hunt, Dean. Why are you drinking like that?”

- “Fuck you. Get out of our room.”

You rolled your eyes and threw away the blood-soaked tissues before making a knot in the bag.

- “Yeah, I will. For five minutes. I’ll be right back.”

Carrying the trash bag, you went outside. The air was heavy and humid and there was no breeze. You saw no one else outside and yet still felt like you were being watched. Frowning, you hurried to throw away the trash. Looking around you, you couldn't see anything alive. Not in the trees or on the ground nor in the sky.

But the feeling was still there.

You weren't alone out there.

Grinding your teeth, you went back inside and locked the door. The sound had Dean sitting on the bed staring at you angrily.

- “What the fuck are you…” Dean tried to ask before you interrupted him.

- “Shut up. We are not alone and something was outside watching me.” You said, grabbing a shotgun and throwing it at him. “Get ready, I bet its about to get messy.”

That was enough to sober up Dean who grabbed the gun and got up, joining you in the middle of the room. Your eyes were glued to the window even if the curtains were closed. Next to you, Dean was calling Sam to tell him to come back as quickly as possible.

He didn't mention that you were there.

Outside you heard the gravel crunching as something walked around in front of the door and window. Immediately Dean raised his gun, ready to shoot if anything tried to enter. You waved your hand, turning off the lights, trying to make you two as discreet as possible. You could still see clearly, unlike Dean.

The sound of footsteps became quieter until then silence was all that was left. Dean’s breathing was the only thing you could hear and neither of you moved nor dropped your guard. It wasn't over, you knew it. Whatever was outside had watched you and saw where you went.

It knew you were in there.

You moved, ever so slightly, keeping Dean behind you. Whatever that thing was, you didn't want to take the risk for Dean to be hurt. Not only because of your deal with John but also because Dean had been drinking. His reflexes weren't going to be as fast as normally.

- “Oi fucker, what are you doing?” Dean asked, voice barely audible.

- “Honoring my deal with your father, pieface.” You replied with a chuckle.

The next seconds passed in a blur.

The sound of broken glass filled the room as a growl broke the silence of the night. A shadow jumped between the curtains ready to pounce on you and Dean. Without thinking you raised your hand and sent the thing flying against the wall. Dean didn't lose a second and immediately shot at it.

The monster moved before any bullet hit it.

Knowing what was to come, you turned your attention on Dean. With the same trick, you sent Dean flying out of the room by the broken window. The young man screamed and you smiled as the creature tackled you to the ground, fangs and claws digging in your flesh. You didn't scream, fingers finding the thing’s eyes and pushing them deep.

Warm blood pulsed and rolled down your hands and wrists as the creature howled in pain. You didn't let go and kept digging, feeling the eyes break under your fingers and nails scratching the bones.

You gasped and coughed as blood and brain matter splashed all over your faces. The sound of a gunshot echoed in the room and the corpse fell on top of you. Groaning, you pushed the carcass off top of you and sat, disgust painted all over your face. You turned your attention toward the window where Dean stood, shotgun still pointed on the dead creature.

- “We need to go, now. Cops won't be long to get here and I don't want to have to explain this mess. Grab everything, I’ll get the car ready.” Dean said before walking away.

Not questioning him, you did as told. Within a minute you had gathered all the brothers’ belongings and the things you had gotten for them. The next, you sat next to Dean as he drove you away to go get Sam. The silence was heavy and even you didn't dare say a word. There was something, like a fragile balance, between the two of you. So fragile that a single sound would brake it and make Dean snap.

Which happen even if you didn't said a word.

The eldest Winchester hit the break and before you could ask what he was doing, his fist collided with your already injured jaw. Then another fist followed and another. It took you a few seconds to realize that Dean was crying, his whole body shaking with each sob. You couldn't make out what he was saying, but guessed he was cursing you like always.

You didn't defend yourself, allowing Dean to just let it all out until you finally caught a few words. Your fault. Didn't do enough. Abandoned us.

He wasn't hitting you.

He was hitting what you represented.

No.

Who you represented.

His father who hadn't been present. His father who had been so hard and rough on him and who, in the end, had died before they could talk about everything. John had died leaving Dean without ny closure.

Dean hadn't been drinking because he was sad, but because he was angry.

After a few minutes, you gently grabbed Dean by the shoulders and he stopped. In your hands, you could feel his body shaking with every sob. If you could still feel emotions, the sight would have broken your heart. But you were a demon. You had lost your humanity a long time ago.

You both kept quiet. Dean by shame, you because you didn't know what to say. Dean drove away until you came across a familiar car; the one Sam had used to go to the library. You stopped again and Sam jumped in, abandoning his car. The door was barely closed that Dean was off again.

- “What the fuck happened to you?” Sam asked you, leaning between your and Dean’s seat.

- “Got a visit from your friend. I don't think he loved me much!” You said jokingly, waving your hands to show your wounds. “Sorry for the smell sweetheart.”

- “Anyway. What are you doing here?” Sam asked after a few seconds of silence.

- “I came to give y'all a bag of ammunition and other things y'all could use during your hunts. I saw how low you were on your inventory.”

Sam looked at you in surprise and suspicion. Of course, the youngest would wonder if you were doing it for another reason than to help. He looked at his brother, expecting Dean to deny what you said, but when his brother said nothing, Sam simply nodded and thanked you.

Slowly, they were learning to trust you. After all, you never lied to them, not even once. And in the future, you would be the only one to do so. Unknown to you three, there would be even more tragedy and danger to come, but you would be there, always.

You would be their horned protector until it killed you.

[delulu4dean]

Masterlist

Mainly just supernatural… mainly Dean.

Last Updated: 12/10/2023 <3

TikTok:delulu4dean

Wattpad: _itsafangirlthing_

Twitter: delulu4dean

✰ Younger Sibling Winchester ✰:

• Withdrawals(Sam and Dean x younger sister!reader)

• No Doctors(Sam and Dean x younger sibling!reader)

• Emergency Room(Sam and Dean x younger sister!reader)

• Audio-Therapy(Dean x younger sister!reader)

✰ Dean Winchester ✰:

• Dean’s Not Dean(Demon!Dean x female reader)

• Animal Pt 1(Dean x female reader)

• Animal Pt 2(Dean x female reader)

• A Game Of Angels & Devils(Demon!Dean X female angel!reader)

•Written Porn(Dean Winchester)

• Daylight(Dean Winchester x female vampire!reader)

✰ Castiel ✰

• Five Gum(Castiel x gn autistic!reader, platonic)

✰ Destiel ✰

• Bring Me to Life(Castiel X demon!dean)

[princessmisery666]

Meeting In The Darkness

Summary: You forgive Dean for what he did when he had black eyes but he can’t forgive himself.

Warnings/Genres/Troupes: angst, blood, implied torture, Demon!Dean, MOC!Dean, unresolved angst.

W/C: 2,882.

Pairing: past Dean Winchester x fem!reader (you - no descriptions of body type or ethnicity).

Bingo: @jacklesversebingo Square Filled: “Well one of us has to be wrong, and it’s not going to be me.”

A/N: @justagirlinafandomworld and @pink-sparkly-witch helped with ideas and feedback, thank you, but it has changed a little since then.

Betas: @slytherkins // all mistakes are my own.

Graphics: made by me on canva, divider @talesmaniac89

Master Lists: Dean Winchester // JAckles Verse Bingo // Main

It’s dark. Too dark. Your gun is out along with your flashlight, scanning the corners of the abandoned warehouse but the darkness seems to swallow anything beyond the end of the barrel.

Something is off and your gut tells you to get out, run fast and far. But you won’t, at least not until you find Dean. He called hours ago, said he was hurt and needed help. He sent the location pin and it brought you here. But it doesn’t feel right, it's too…quiet. Like the shadows are listening to your heartbeat. 

You tried calling Dean when you arrived but it rang out until his voicemail picked up. Sam’s not answering his phone either, maybe he’s hurt too? 

One foot over the other, that’s all you can focus on, not the worry making your heart beat faster. You desperately wish you’d called for back-up. Jody, Donna, hell even Garth. Except it was Dean. Your affinity for the surly hunter often clouded your judgment. He might not have time for you to wait for back-up. If Dean is hurt, he needs you now, not when the sun rises, though you doubt the dawn would penetrate the dark depths of the damp smelling warehouse.

“Dean,” you call out in a soft whisper. “Sam?”

Dean’s location blips on your screen, you're standing right on top of it, but he must be a floor above you because there’s no sign of him, and you’ve checked below. You're afraid of what you’ll find, and looking down at the illuminated screen blinds you further in the blackness that surrounds you.

“This isn’t right,” you say and have the eerie feeling someone hears you. 

Your phone rings, startling you so much, it drops to the floor. Of course it lands face down so you can’t see it.

“Fuck!” 

You scramble around, flashlight scanning for it, and as you step forward, you manage to kick it further away. You follow as it slides across the dusty floor, and the corner hits the wall just as it stops ringing.

You're quick to pick it up and the smell hits you as you straighten up. It isn’t dust… 

Demons. 

You sigh with relief when Sam’s name flashes on the caller I.D again. “Sam.” 

He doesn’t offer a greeting, frantically asking, “Where are you?”

“I’m at the warehouse. Dean called, he said you-”

“Get out,” Sam panics, “get out now, run!”

You freeze, terrified to turn around as the sudden sense you aren’t alone makes the hairs on your arms stand on end. 

“Sam what’s going on?” You ask, slowly backing up, trying to follow the same path to ensure you don’t trip over anything.

“Dean isn’t Dean,” Sam explains, “the Mark, it changed him. He’s a…” he struggles to finish the sentence taking a deep breath, and he utters the word as you back into a solid chest, “demon.”

“Shit.” 

“Hey, sweetheart,” Dean’s voice whispers against the shell of your ear, and it sounds as dark as the shadows. 

He takes the phone from your hand and hangs up, throwing the device over his shoulder. He runs his fingers down your arms, shoulder to wrist. For the briefest of moments, you convince yourself it’s a gentle caress, a sweet ‘I missed you’ in Dean’s language, until he wraps his fingers around yours and the gun.

You forgot you had the weapon, despite Sam’s frantic warning, you’ve never feared Dean, and it’s not like you’d have shot him. But you know you’ll soon regret that thought.

“Give it up,” he instructs, with little room for argument, almost crushing your fingers beneath his. 

You surrender it, cautiously taking a half step forward and turning at the same time when you feel Dean lean back to hand off the gun to someone you can’t see. He’s unnaturally fast, and before you can take a breath, he has you pinned against the wall, arms above your head. The flashlight falls, making the shadows dance, and as if on cue, the room's light illuminates, blinding you.

You squeeze your eyes shut against the assault and debate whether to keep them closed, afraid of what else is lurking in the room.

Dean demands, “Look at me,” and you know you’d be a fool to disobey.

Finally, when you find the courage to follow his command, you look up at him. Black drowns his pretty eyes, and his smile is fiendish.

“Please don’t say here’s Johnny,” you quip though you feel yourself start to tremble.

Dean laughs, but it doesn’t hold an ounce of amusement. “Johnny ain’t got nothing on me.”

You look over his shoulder, an army of demons line the walls looking at you with a fatal hunger. 

“Is this…” You can’t say it, recognizing that this is the place Crowley kept the alphas. The room where you saved Meg from Alistair’s clutches. You don’t know what you're asking for exactly; to be let go, to make it quick or something else, but the word falls from you in a shaky breath. “Please.” 

“Oh, don’t start begging yet,” Dean tuts, “you’ll spoil all the fun.”

“Fun?”

“See Sammy doesn’t believe that I’m no longer his big brother,” he explains, sounding irritated and bored.

“Dean, you don’t…” 

His hand wraps around your throat, lithe fingers reaching from ear to ear, and he cuts off your air to stop you from talking. “I’m tired of telling him to leave me alone, so I thought it’s time to really show him what I am. Maybe when I’m done here, he’ll let me go.”

Dean POV

I watch you thrash and squirm in your sleep. I know better than to wake you. Luckily, my reflexes saved me from any real damage but I have the scar to remind me of the knife you keep tucked under your pillow. 

“Dean, you don’t…” you whimper into the dream world.

Only, I know it's not a dream. It's a memory, playing out in full high definition. Unfortunately, I remember what happens next too.

I’ve tried running from the man - thing - I was, but I guess I’m too slow. It catches up to me in waves, winds me so much I clutch my chest, digging my fingers into my skin, hoping I’m somehow strong enough to break the flesh and rip my own heart out. Because that’s what it feels like while I watch you struggle. Every thrash or whimper is a blow to my chest, and I can’t catch my breath. 

I’ve waited at the bottom of a hundred bottles, drowning while I waited for you to come back. Waging a war against myself, punishing myself the only way I know how, abusing my body and falling into bed with any woman willing to sleep with the down and out drunk. 

I denied myself access to you. And you never called me. When finally I thought I had gotten away with it and felt a spark of relief that I wouldn’t ever have to face you again, like magic, you appeared.

That agony swallowed me whole, and I still feel like some big bad is chomping on my insides. It’s no less than I deserve, and heaven knows I’m never getting over you or what I did.  

I remember the pact you made, a vow etched in your blood as I slowly and painfully drew it from your body. “When all this is over,” your lip trembled, but the conviction was in your eyes. So much so, even the demon in me was intrigued with the absolute belief written on your bloodied features. “When Sam has fixed you…” you swallowed thickly, found a last ounce of strength and told me - him - “I can wait for you at the bottom. I can stay away if you want me to, and I’ll wait for years if I have to, but I’ll see you again, and I’ll forgive you, Dean.” 

I thought when your blood dried, you’d take it back, but apparently you haven’t. Because here you are, back at the bunker, sleeping in your old room. Is this what your forgiveness looks like? Pretending like nothing happened, even though you still have the scars, physical and mental, to show that it did. 

Your jerking movements stop and I hope that the nightmare has passed when you roll to lay on your back. I wait a few minutes, watching your body relax, your eyes remain closed, and your frown smooth as your breathing evens out. 

“Dean.” 

It sounds intentional but you still look like you're asleep. You sigh heavily, hand coming up to rub your eyes open, and then you’re looking at me. A mixture of tiredness and weariness in your expression. 

“Did I wake you?”

I can’t help but huff a laugh. You woke me. Seriously? I’m literally the thing in your nightmares, but you’re worried about waking me. It’s infuriating and typical. 

“No, I haven’t been to bed yet.” I haven’t been sleeping much lately, but with you here, I knew it was useless to even try. 

You roll on to your back, stare up at the ceiling and ask, “Where’re you gonna run to?” 

You’re not completely wrong. I thought about jumping in Baby and hauling ass in any direction. I wish I had. I didn’t because I owe you at least an opportunity to tell me how much you hate me, remind me that I fucked us up, all because I couldn’t lose Sammy. Worst part is, I think you know I’d do it again.

Silence deafens me for a long time, and I can’t be sure if you’ve fallen asleep or not, until you deliver a blow I never expected. 

“I still love you.”

I really did do some permanent damage because that’s the craziest thing I’ve ever heard you say, and you’ve never said it before today. It’s always been on the tip of your tongue. I could see it in the moments you wanted to say it, especially the moments it wouldn’t have changed anything because then you’d have been saying it for you, to make yourself feel better, knowing I was going to hell or purgatory or wherever I was headed knowing how you felt. But now you're saying it for me because it’s what I need to hear, despite that I doubt the truth of it.

You shuffle to sit up, stare at me through the darkness, repeating, “I still love you, Dean.”

“You shouldn’t.”

You lean over to switch on the lamp, a slight jesting smirk when you look back at me. “Well, one of us has to be wrong, and it’s not going to be me.”

You say it so unbelievably casual as if you're commenting on the weather, and I know you’re trying to lighten the mood, but I just don’t have it in me to make jokes.

“There’s a first time for everything,” I counter, “and this is that time. You don’t love me, you love the idea of me, and I wish I was the guy you think I am, but I’m not and I won’t ever be.” 

You sigh, and though you're too far away from me, I swear I feel it. As if a ghost just showed up, the temperature drops a few degrees, and a cold shiver runs through me when you mutter, “I know,” looking down at your fidgeting hands in your lap.

Son of a bitch. Why does that sting like a rock salt shot to my chest? 

“But you're not the villain you think you are, either,” you say, softly, as if you're talking to yourself, and you may as well be because I’ll listen, but I won’t hear it.

“Villain, monster, all means the same.”

“You know what your problem is?” There’s no softness to your tone now. You're getting angry, and that makes more sense to me. You should be angry, furious, murderous even, but you won’t claim it like you should.

Regardless of your right to be furious with me, I bite back, “I have a few, but why don’t you tell me?”

“You don’t think you're worthy of love, that anyone who cares for you has been fooled into doing so, but what you don’t see is that you prove yourself worthy over and over again. The sacrifices you make, you put everyone - damn, the world - above yourself, and that makes you worthy.”

There’s that conviction again, the same undeniable faith you had when I had you tied down and bleeding out. You believe everything you just said, but it's the second time you’ve been wrong today.

“You’re wrong,” I say. “All the sacrifices I make are for selfish reasons, to save Sam, so I don’t have to live without my brother. That’s not commendable. And all the other times it was probably to fix a mistake I made trying to save Sam. I’m not worthy. I’m a screw up.”

You shrug, “Difference of opinion, I guess.” 

Letting out a frustrated sigh, I shake my head, looking up at the ceiling as if I’ll be able to see the sanity you’ve so clearly let go of floating around up there. As my eyes drift back down, they land on your duffle sitting on the chair. It’s packed up tight still, the clothes you were wearing when you arrived neatly folded on top, boots on the floor beneath it. 

You’re saying all this, claiming you love me but it looks as though you're ready to leave at the drop of a hat. “Not planning on staying?”

“Hadn’t decided yet, needed to know if I was too much of a reminder or if you could get past it all.” 

“Get past it?” I shout. “It’s not some minor accident, YN. I didn’t accidentally step on your foot. I ran a blade through your skin, repeatedly. I took pleasure in hearing you scream. I was proud of how your blood dripped onto the floor!” 

My rage makes you jump out of the bed. You, quite literally, won’t take this sitting down. You cross the room and get in my face. “I got past it, so why can’t you?” 

I laugh, there’s no humor in it, but it's either that or smash my fist into the door. “You're past it, huh? So I wasn’t just stalking your sleep, walking around with black eyes and a knife soaked in your blood?”

You avert your gaze and take a half step back. I’ve won, I see the fight drain out of you in the way your shoulders slump. I don’t feel good about it. 

“You came here to forgive me.” You meet my gaze and it’s right there, I can see it reflected back in your tearful expression.  “But I don’t need it,” I say, as the first tear slips free, “and I really don’t want it.”

“We can’t go back.” 

You’re not asking a question, you're speaking the realization aloud. But to be sure you understand, I add, “And there’s no going forward.”

Your gaze flicks to your unpacked bag. You inhale slowly and hold it for a long pause. “I won’t stay where I’m not wanted,” you exhale, “So when I leave, I’m not coming back.”

That’s not true. You are wanted, more than you’ll ever know and more than I could ever express, but it doesn’t matter. Wanting you is not enough to keep what I did in the shadows.

It’s a dick thing to do, but the hurt I’m causing you now, the pain that is free flowing from your eyes, is nothing compared to what will happen if you stick around. “Finally,” I sigh, “something we agree on.” 

You hand flexes at your side, balls into a fist while you decide whether to strike me or not. I brace myself, expecting the blow. I deserve it. It’s what I need, a flare of anger, a singular moment to show me that I haven’t slaughtered the fight left in you.  

Your hand relaxes, and the resolve, with such a finality I’ll never forget, settles in your eyes. 

You’ve given up on me.

It’s for the best and there’s nothing left to say, so I turn and walk away.

It doesn’t take you long to get dressed, and I can’t bear to watch you leave, but I wait around the corner, out of sight, listening to your movements. 

When you leave your room, I follow your departure through the halls, trying not to inhale your scent too deeply, knowing the memories it will ignite will burn my resolve.

Your truck door slams, but the engine doesn’t start, and I hold my breath. Are you fighting with yourself to leave or stay? 

I don’t know which would make me feel worse. 

The engine starts, and I drift closer to the garage door. I push it open a crack, enough to see you resting your head on your hands that grip the wheel so tight, I can feel the sting on my own palms. Your shoulders heave with your tears that the old cranky engine drowns out. 

I do nothing but stare. The irony isn’t lost on me, I did the same thing that day in the warehouse; waiting, watching. The only difference is, as you drive away I’m the one left bleeding out and tortured.

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Master Lists: Dean Winchester // JAckles Verse Bingo // Main

[impala-dreamer]

Carrion

A Supernatural Story

~He always was The One, and no matter what, Y/N couldn't deny him...~

Demon!Dean x F!Reader, Sam Winchester

3,018 Words

Warnings: Angst. Injury. Demonic Fuckery

Impala-Dreamer’s Masterlist  ~  Patreon  ~ Published Works

“You really think you can do this?” 

His voice was deeper than she remembered, echoing slightly off the concrete walls. His smug laugh punched her in the gut and Y/N chewed the inside of her cheek, desperate to pull up her best poker face. Not that it would matter; he could always call her bluff.

“Actually, yeah,” she replied as calmly as she could. “I think we already have.”

He offered a smirk; pearly white teeth peeking out like fangs from behind his ruddy lips. “You can’t cure what I got, Sweetheart.” He blinked and the demonic darkness appeared, flooding the green and taking away everything that was Dean. “Besides, I don’t wantcha too.” He took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. “Didn’t ask for it, don’t want it. Thanks but no thanks.” He dipped his chin and Y/N shook her head at him, pulling up a smile. 

“Well, I didn’t ask to spend my summer chasing you around the country with your half-crazed brother, but...we get what we get.” Turning her back on him, she pulled the second syringe of consecrated blood from the pack and uncapped the needle. Dean held her gaze as she walked to him, blood in hand, ready to proceed. He visibly cringed when she stopped by his left arm and batted her lashes sarcastically at him. “And don’t call me ‘Sweetheart’, dick.” 

She could have been kinder, gently pressed the needle into his forearm, but he’d been riling her up for the better half of an hour, and it felt good to stab something, even if it was Dean. 

He grit his teeth and tried to hold in the scream, but the blood burned in his veins, making his body shake with fever and pain. It exploded through him; holy acid to wash away the demon. 

When the blood was gone, Y/N pulled back and bit her tongue as he convulsed, trying not to panic. It was almost the same as when Sam had done the first round, but something was different. Dean didn’t seem to fight it as hard, losing the battle against his scream a bit sooner. It rang loud through the dungeon and her heart broke for the man she used to love. 

Hissing and panting, Dean regained a fraction of composure and cracked his neck loudly. “That is… fucking uncomfortable,” he grit. 

“Is it?” she asked, trying to sound uncaring and above him. “Good.” 

With a huff, he stilled, eyes blinking back to familiar green. The forest called to her, but Y/N kept her distance. 

“Why’s that good? You suddenly enjoy torturing your friends?” 

The word cut like a hot knife through her heart and Y/N flinched. 

“Oh, I’m sorry,” Dean said with a pout. “Friend. Hurts, doesn’t it?” 

She licked her lips and squared her shoulders, refusing to let him win. “I don’t know what you’re talking about, but do us both a favor and shut the fuck up.” She popped the P and turned on her heel, hiding the hurt in her eyes. He knew just what he’d done, knew how that word hurt her, knew why. 

“Oh, come on, Y/N/N,” he teased; the clench in his jaw giving away the pain he still felt. “Don’t leave me now, we’re just getting started!”

A bottle of holy water stood on the table next to her and Y/N grabbed it, flipping the cap as she spun back around, splashing his freckled face with the blessed liquid. His flesh sizzled and steam filled the air around him as he yelled. 

“Fucking bitch!” 

The bass in his voice made her shiver and Y/N backed away quickly. 

Dean gasped and shook himself. Demon versus human, battling for the cracks in his soul. “You can throw holy water at me all you want, but it ain’t gonna change nothing.” 

Y/N pressed her palms into the table, holding herself steady. She refused to look at him, keeping her eyes on the tools at her disposal. “Yeah, but it’s fun.” Her voice cracked and she shut her eyes, hating the tremor in her lips. 

“You can’t do it,” he went on, mocking her, tempting her. “You love me too damned much.” 

Her heart nearly stopped and Y/N sucked in a shocked breath. Her spine stiffened but she clung to the table edge, trying to stay calm.

“Yeah, there it is.” Dean laughed. “Love. The ultimate ‘fuck you’, isn’t it?” Testing the ropes again, he twisted his wrists and shifted a bit in the seat. “When you fall in love, you’re vulnerable. Your priorities change, your brain stops working the way it should. It’s a liability: love.”

“Are you ever going to shut up?” 

Dean smirked, knowing he was getting to her. “It’s a shame, really. You used to be a good hunter. Not great, mind you, but good. Competent. But then something happened. You let yourself fall in love, and that’s when it all went down hill, didn’t it?” 

Y/N grit her teeth and took a deep breath; nails digging into the table. 

“Your mind started playing tricks on you,” he continued, slowly drawing out her emotions, enjoying watching the muscles in her back tense, the color change in her cheeks. “It wasn’t just fun, harmless flirting after a while, was it? You fell and you fell hard. Started thinking what we had was more than we did. You let yourself dream of a future with me, let yourself believe it as if anything could really happen between us.” 

His laugh was cruel and Y/N closed her eyes, begging the tears to stay back. 

“Honestly, I just felt bad for you,” he said simply. “The last two times we fucked, it was just out of pity. Well, and to shut you up. Sad thing is, Sam always kinda had a thing for you.” He leaned forward as her eyes turned to him. “Guess you picked the wrong Winchester,” he whispered, the devil on his tongue. 

“Fuck you,” she snapped, tossing the bottle at him once more. The bulk of the wave barely reached him, but what did shut him up, searing his skin and making him groan painfully. 

“Wanna know a secret?” he asked, out of breath and exhausted. “When I get out of this chair, I’m going to rip your heart out and stomp on it.” Again, he broke into a sick laugh. “How’s that for love?”

Y/N slammed the door behind her, but she could still hear his cackling. It dug into her bones, twisted and churned inside of her like a wayward curse. She took a moment, pressing her back to the wall, letting the cold of the tile seep into her flesh. 

With her eyes closed, the tears fell, a silent betrayal of her strength. Everything he’d said was true; nothing they didn’t both know, but to hear it from him, to feel the disdain in his tone, it was gutting. 

“You OK?” 

Sam dropped a heavy hand on her shoulder and Y/N looked up, blinking away the tears. 

“Yeah,” she lied, clearing her throat. “Just needed a moment.” 

Sam nodded thoughtfully. “He’s getting to you, huh?” 

She looked away, eyes following the lines in the tile towards his old room. The room they’d carried his body to, the room they’d found empty just hours later. 

“Nah.” She wiped at her cheeks, slapping the wetness away. “Just hot in there. Did you get a hold of Cas?”

Sam sighed. “Yeah, but he’s…” 

She looked up expectantly. 

“He’s on his way.”

Y/N pulled in a deep breath and let her shoulders fall. She rolled her neck and set her jaw, ready for more. “Alright then. Backup’s on its way- let’s do this.” 

She hung back, hiding in the shadows around the edges of the room while Sam took the lead. Dean had a field day with his brother, taunting him in ways she couldn’t have dreamt up in her darkest imagination, slowly chipping away at Sam’s resolve. 

Sam stood strong through it all, fighting back when he couldn’t hold it in anymore, standing tall through each of Dean’s lies and verbal jabs. 

When he couldn’t break Sam, Dean turned his eyes to Y/N, following her slow trek around the perimeter, surely counting each heartbeat that pounded in her chest when he smiled so slickly at her. She refused to answer his catcalls, never took a step closer, skirting the walls like a thief in the night, hidden and silent, waiting, watching. 

The next dose of blood was worse than the last. 

Y/N turned her face as Dean screamed, his blood boiling, his body convulsing in pain as the cure worked on him. His voice was deafening and Y/N pressed her forehead against the stone wall, hoping the chill would calm her soul. bly shaking, Sam walked away, leaving her alone once more with the demon. 

Dean was gasping, head down resting on his chest, eyes closed, shoulders shaking. 

Y/N took a step into the light. 

“Dean?” 

He didn’t respond, had no snappy words to break her heart with. He tried to lift his head, but his body was too weak. “Is that- that all you got?” he chuckled, expelling just enough breath to make a sound. 

Y/N grabbed the Demon Knife from the table and moved closer, stepping into the circle. “Dean, look at me.” Worry laced her words and he did his best to oblige. His head rolled to the side but he managed a pathetic smile. 

“What, you gonna slice me open now?” 

“What? No. Shit.” She tossed the knife back onto the table and went to him, stopping at arm's length. “Are you OK?” 

His breath was shaky, shallow but heavy; she could see it in the quick rise and fall of his thick chest. “No. I’m not OK. I’m-” His eyes rolled back for a second and his face contorted with pain. “I think I’m dying.” He let out a sad laugh at that. “Again.” 

“You’re not dying.” Y/N held her breath as he coughed badly, a trickle of blood dripping from the corner of his mouth. “Shit.”  

Dean’s tongue darted out to lick away the blood and he shook his head, grinning righteously at her. “See? You’re fucking killing me with this- this cure.”

“We’re saving you.” 

Dean spat at her feet; a tiny puddle tinged with pink. “Agree to disagree.” 

Y/N shook her head. “Did you really think we wouldn’t come save you? Did you think we’d just let you run around killing people, dropping bodies wherever you went?”

“Hey, most of those were demons,” he corrected, shifting in his seat. His lips twitched as a sharp pain struck his spine. 

“Whatever.” Y/N stepped back and jumped up to sit on the edge of the table, swinging her feet above the Devil’s Trap. “We looked everywhere for you.”

Dean looked up at her through thick lashes. “No one asked you to save me. I left for a reason.” 

“Crowley tricked you.” 

“Crowley didn’t do shit. I left. Me. I chose to leave.”

Y/N crossed her arms, shook her head. “No.” 

“No?” His laugh was cut short by a pained grunt and his body twisted from the middle. “I could have stayed. Coulda come running down the hall screaming your name. Y/N, I’m alive!” He winced and clenched his jaw. “But no. I left. Take the hint.” 

“You’re being cruel,” she whispered, lip trembling. “This isn’t you.” 

“You don’t know me, you...pathetic…” Pain gripped him tight, strangling his words, his breath. “You- pathetic...cun-” He screamed again; his entire body clenched until his limbs shook. His face turned bright red and Y/N watched his struggle, green eyes flickering to black and back again too quickly for her to count how many times.

“Dean?” Her feet hit the floor.

No breath, no movement, not even a scream. 

“Dean!” She shook his shoulder, uncaring of the danger. “Come on, dammit!” She touched his cheek and Dean sucked in a deep breath. 

“Y/N?” His throat was raw, his voice soft. He looked up with clear, wet eyes filled with fear. “Help me.” 

His plea tugged at her heart but she took a step back, her hand dropping from his face. “What?” 

He swallowed hard, cringing at the pain of it. “Please,” he begged, panting and weak. “Please, you have to help me. This-the blood is killing me. Please, Y/N/N.”

Y/N screwed her eyes shut tight and shook herself. “No. I can’t.” 

He coughed again, hard; the echo rang in her head. “I’m-I’m so sorry.” 

Tears were back in her eyes and she struggled to ignore them, to push aside the tightness in her chest, the guilt. “What? What are you saying?” 

He looked up, eyes just as wet as hers. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t… I didn’t mean anything I said before. It’s… I can’t…” He lost his breath, choking on nothing, on the weight of his choices. “Help me.” 

A single tear slipped down his cheek and Y/N reached out to catch it, brush it away. Her palm lay flush against his skin and Dean leaned in towards her touch, closing his eyes as the small taste of comfort wrapped around him. 

“I need you,” he whispered, lips barely moving. 

Y/N broke, falling to her knees in front of him, her hand still holding his face, thumb swiping away at another tear as it trickled down. “I’m here, Dean. I’m going to help you. We’re going to save you, I promise.” 

He nodded gently and a soft smile pulled at his raw lips. “I know.” 

Both eyes were wet now and Y/N pushed up on her knees, cradling both his cheeks, holding him lovingly. 

“I think it’s working,” she said with a hopeful smile. “Dean… you’re crying. You’re… I think it’s working. Do you feel different? Anything?” 

He closed his eyes, took a deep breath. “I-I think so.” Green eyes opened, locking on hers. “I love you, Y/N,” he said suddenly, his face twisting with familiar guilt. “I’m so sorry I never said it before, but I do. I always have.” 

Of the million things she thought he’d say, that wasn’t even in the top thousand. Her heart swelled, the tightness in her chest lifted just a tiny bit. “I…”

Dean dropped his chin and his forehead brushed against hers. She shivered and leaned up closer, unconsciously reaching for his lips. 

“I love you too, Dean.” 

The kiss was slow, soft, full of pain and apology. Y/N held onto him, refusing to let go as they struggled to breathe around the kiss, their mouths hungry for each other. When his tongue slipped into her mouth, Y/N came alive, something deep inside of her sizzling like water in a pan. 

“I need you, Y/N,” he said again, breath hot on her cheek. “Please.” 

Her mind in a fog, Y/N climbed into his lap, knees pressing into the small space beside his hips. She kissed him like it was the first time and the last all rolled into one; excited and sad, scared and aroused. Her fingers tugged through his hair, marveling at the length, using her grip to turn his face where she needed. 

She moaned his name as his tongue traced the shell of her ear, teeth scraping the tender dangling flesh at the end. “God, I missed you…”

Dean bit down on her shoulder and bucked his hips, sending Y/N into a frenzy. She closed her eyes and rolled her hips over him, grinding down on the hardness growing in his jeans. “Fuck.” 

“Untie me,” he whispered, “just one hand and I can make you feel so good, Y/N, please.” 

Her head was swimming, blood singing with lust and love. “I… no, I can’t.” 

He licked at her pulse, sucked a heavy kiss against her throat. “Please, baby,” he growled, “just one.” 

He bit down a little too hard and Y/N snapped out of the spell, the clouds lifting from her mind. “Wait. No! Fuck!”

She sat back and Dean grinned devilishly. 

“Ya know what?” he said, cracking his neck, “I don’t need your help. I think I can get it myself…”

When Sam returned, the door was open. Eyes narrowed in suspicion, he walked in, breath instantly halting as he saw the empty chair, its broken arm, the frayed ropes. 

Dean was gone. 

Sam rushed inside and fell to his knees. Y/N lay at the foot of the chair, clothes torn and hair a mess. 

“Y/N!” He reached for her, carefully turning her onto her back. She was breathing but barely, her face and throat splattered with blood. “No, no, no…” 

Her eyes fluttered open and she pulled in a heavy breath. “Sam-”

“Hey. Hey, it’s OK. I got you.” 

She shook her head and winced as she tried to sit up. Pain spread through her body from the top down and she grit her teeth, trying to stay strong. “He tricked me. He’s…you have to stop him.”

Sam huffed out a deep breath. “I will. I promise.” 

Dean’s voice echoed through the halls and they both turned, fear shrouding their faces. “Come on, Sammy. Wanna hang out with your big brother? A little quality time?”

Y/N shuddered. “Go. Hurry.” 

Sam grabbed the Knife from the table as he ran off, leaving Y/N to pull herself together. 

She stood slowly, every inch of her aching where his fists had landed; not a part of her left unmarred by his attack. Her chest burned as she moved and Y/N pressed a hand to the letters he’d carved into her skin, a lesson, a warning, a horrid joke she could never forget. 

L O V E

“It’s a liability,” he said, rounding off the O with the tip of the knife. He held her down, arms pinned beneath his knees, throat closing under his fist. “I warned you…” 

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[asmutwriter]

You Saved Me (Part 15)

DESCRIPTION: (Season 12) You bump into no other then Dean Winchester as you work your normal day shift at the local pub.

WORD COUNT: 2271

From Beginning / Previous / Next / Master List  

WARNINGS: swearing, drinking, set in a pub, very brief mentions of death, lots of angst, small amounts of fluff

DISCLAIMERS

- This is fiction. Please always talk to your partner before doing anything and make sure they are ok with what you are doing beforehand

A YEAR LATER

You smiled at the next customer. Taking their drink and food order. Writing down their table number as you see someone sit at the bar nearby. It was about 3pm so the lunchtime rush had passed. Only a few stragglers who were coming off of a late shift were coming in. You walk down the short length of the bar. Your customer service smile changing to a genuine one as you recognize the man.

"Dean" you say. He looks up. His saddened face lightening slightly as he meets your eyes.

"Rose. What are you doing here?"

"Working. They don't let me behind the bar of most places. Unfortunately" he lets out a small chuckle. "What can I get for you?"

"Whiskey. No ice". You nod. Turning around.

"Coming right up". Pouring the whiskey into the glass. Facing Dean again as you place the drink in front of him. He smiles at you. Taking the drink and downing it. Pushing the glass towards you. You take the bottle of whiskey. Refilling the empty glass. "Difficult day at work?". He chuckles slightly. Nodding as he delicately picks the glass back up.

"Something like that"

"Anything I could do to help?"

"Just keep the drinks coming. That'll be help enough"

"So a really bad day at work then?" he nods. Downing his drink again. Gently pushing it again. You take it. Pouring as he talks.

"You don't need to know about my problems though. You're at work and I'm sure you have a lot going on" He takes the glass. Sipping it. You put the lid back on the bottle.

"As you can see-" you motion to the practically empty bar. "I am very busy". You half smile at him. "Just think of me as any other bartender. One that you can vent your problems to. Everyone knows that we are basically like therapists, just with less qualifications. Well, us and hairdressers". He half smiles. Looking at his drink as he tilts the glass. Watching the liquid.

"Have you ever trusted someone so unconditionally and then they just... stab you right in the back?" he looks back up at you. You think for a moment.

"Sadly, yes. It is a shitty thing to happen" he nods. Downing his drink. "Have they apologised?"

"She's tried. She hasn't stopped texting me. Wanting to explain herself. But I don't want an explanation. Honestly, I don't even care that much about what shes done. I care about the fact that she lied to me. Lied to Sam". You nod. Him passing you his empty glass. You fill it up again.

"That is tricky. Unfortunately its up to you if you want to forgive her or not" you pass him his drink back. "Only you can make that decision"

"Sam wants me to forgive her". He shakes his head slightly. "I don’t know if I can. She hurt Cas. She-" he pauses. Taking the glass again. Lowering his voice slightly. "She got another hunter killed. We could've avoided it. We could've stopped that situation from ever happening if shed just... listened to us. Talked to us". You watch him. Eyes steady as he downs his drink again. He shakes his head. Eyes looking at you.

“What’s the latest with you then?”. He changes the subject. You half smile at him. Understanding the want of a new topic. You stretch your arms out semi dramatically towards the bar.

“I got a new job - as you can see. Been here a month I think. It’s good work. I’m trying to save up some money though”

“Yeah? What for?”

“I want to own my own pub. Have my own place like this”

“Isn’t that the dream?” He chuckles slightly

“There’s a place not to far from here. There's rumours that it might go up onto the selling market soon”

“Yeah?” You nod. An uncontrollable smile coming over your face as you talk.

“I think I could convert it into a pub in the bottom. Apartment styled house in the top”. He chuckles slightly. “I asked an estate agent about it. I would have enough to buy it. If I sell the place I’m staying in now. I just don’t quite have enough to renovate it too”

“Could you buy it now, save up money, renovate it at a later date?” You nod

“That’s my plan. Hopefully anyway. I’ve put in an offer for it earlier this morning. Just need to see if they accept it”

“There is a small problem though”. He says, a slight smile on his lips as he looks at you. You furrow your brow softly. A look of concern coming over your face.

“What’s that?”

“If you open a pub this close to my house then I’ll be forced to come to you whenever I want a beer”. You laugh slightly.

“You say that like it’s a bad thing?” You smirk at him. Causing him to let out a soft chuckle. "How far do you live from here then?"

"About 20 minute drive. There are a few places closer but this place has the best whiskey". You chuckle slightly. Another customer comes up.

"Excuse me" you say. Going over to the new customer. Taking their order and serving them before going back to Dean. Placing your hands palm downwards onto the wooden surface top. "My shift ends in-" you look at the clock on the wall "20 minutes. Anything else I can do for you?"

"How about another drink?" he says. A smile on his face as he looks at you. You nod and half smile. Refilling his drink back up. He takes it. Looking into the bottom of it as the amber of it stares back at him.

"How about I make you a sandwich?". He gets brought out of his drunken trance. Looking at you. You smile at him. "It has bacon in. Its one of my own makes. I make it for the girls if they've had a long day". He half smiles at you. Nodding slightly as he places his glass down. You go over to a small kitchen part. Still being able to see him as you put on some gloves. Cooking up some bacon as you prepare the bread.

Dean watches you as you make it. Eyes hungry as they stay glued to your hands. You serve it onto a plate. Placing it in front of him. He practically drools at the sight of it. You take your gloves off. Throwing them into a small bin by your side.

He takes a bite. Eyes shutting in bliss as he tastes it. "Holy fuck" he mumbles through a mouthful. "This is awesome". You chuckle. Watching as he opens his eyes again. "Where did you learn to make this?"

"It was my go to meal when I was younger - for if my dad was out. It didn't require much cooking and meant I was having a somewhat healthy diet. Well, healthier then pizza every meal"

"Oh my god. This is excellent. Best thing I've tasted since..." he trails off. "Might be the best thing I've tasted". You laugh.

"I don't think its that good" he smiles. Taking another bite.

"If you do buy that place. Then make these. You'll be having people from all around the world coming to your bar". You laugh. Shaking your head slightly.

"I appreciate you feeding into my ego". He smiles at you. Taking another bite. Eyes shutting again. A soft moan escaping. Your grin expands. Enjoying the pure ecstasy you've given him. You look back at the clock. Not sure how 15 minutes had passed but they had.

"I have to go and get Anna and Lydia from school". He opens his eyes to look at you. "I'll leave you in the trusted care of my fellow employees".

"Wait. How much for everything?". You look at the glass. Counting on your fingers.

"5 drinks. £15?".

"And the food?". You smile at him.

"On me". Him smiles. Taking out his wallet and handing you a twenty. Before you can protest he speaks. "£5 tip for being an excellent server". You smile. Going over to the till and putting the money in. "I hope that you have a good rest of the day"

"After this-" he motions to the food "I think its only up from here". You laugh. Taking off your apron as you fold it.

"I'll see you around Dean"

"You too Kathrine". You smile. Going out the back. Grabbing your car keys and coat. Heading to your car you frown.

"Oh you've got to be fucking me right now?" you say. Seeing your flat tire. You kick the wheel. Regretting it as you feel your toes buckle under the force. "Ow" you say tiredly. Dramatically grabbing your foot at the dull pain. "Ow" you repeat. Dropping your foot as you go round to the boot. Opening it up. No tire. Slamming the boot down. Shutting your eyes. "Ok. Calm down. Just text Anna and say that she needs to get a bus. Then call a mechanic. Do they even bring tires to place like this?".

You grab your phone out. Pulling up the number of a nearby mechanic. Just as your about to ring them you see Dean walk out. Putting his denim jacket back on. He walks over. A soft frown on his face. You motion at your car before going back to your phone. "Flat tire. Haven't got a spare to change it. Just about to ring a mechanic". He bends down.

"Hang on a second". You pause. Your thumb hovering over the dial number. "We've got the same tires. I've got a spare that you can have"

"Are you serious?". He nods. Standing back up straight. "You are a lifesaver". he chuckles. Going over to his Impala and grabbing the tire out. Bringing it over. "Thank you so much Dean"

"No worries. Do you need help changing it?". You shake your head.

"No. Not the first time I've had to change my tire. Which is why I no longer have a spare" he chuckles slightly. "I've just got to text Anna that I will b a bit longer then expected". He watches as you bring up her number.

"She's at school with Lydia?" you nod. Going to text your daughter. "How about I pick them up and drive them home? Whilst you fix this"

"Oh no I cant expect you to-"

"I insist". You bite at your bottom lip as you look at him. His eyes soft as they look at yours.

"Yes. Yes then. Thank you" he smiles.

"What school are they at?". You tell him the name.

"They're about 10 minutes from here. I'll text Anna and let her know that you're picking her up. Thank you again Dean" you say. Hugging him quickly before he goes to his car. You fix your tire. Dumping the spare one in the boot. A text from Dean as you finish.

'Got to yours. Made the girls a drink. Watching Finding Nemo'

You smile at the message. Getting into your car and driving home. You open the front door. Hearing the familiar noise of the film as you go into the living room. Lydia turns to look at you from the sofa.

"Mum!" she exclaims. Jumping up as she runs over to you. Anna pausing the movie as she turns her head. Smiling at you as you hug your youngest daughter. She goes back over to the sofa she was sharing with her sister.

"I'm going to go and make myself a drink. I'll be in in two seconds. Carry on watching you three" you smile. Going into the kitchen as the soft humm of the film plays through the wall. Making yourself a coffee you go back into the room. Sitting down next to Dean.He glances at you. A soft smile on his lips as you smile back at him. You scoot close to him. Whispering.

"Thank you again"

"No worries. I'm always happy to help"

"Its really appreciated though". You kiss his cheek. Turning back to the film. He turns to look at you. You watching the film so you don't notice the flash of emotion in his eyes. Taking a sip of your coffee as you watch the movie. His eyes going back to the screen.

"I can't believe you let them sway you into watching this movie?" you say as it finishes. Looking at Dean as the two girls grin from their sofa.

"They said it was a cartoon. And I'm never one to turn down a good cartoon". You laugh. Standing up as you grab the mugs.

"Cant argue with that logic" you say. Going into the kitchen again as you dump the cups into the sink. He follows you shortly behind.

"I should be getting back home".

"Feel free to stay for longer if you'd like". He shakes his head.

"I don't want to leave Sam to long so I should get back". You smile softly at him.

"Thank you for today. Its always good to see you. Plus you've been a massive help for me". He nods, a small smile adorning his lips as he looks at you.

"I told you, always here to help". You chuckle slightly. Nodding. "If you do manage to open up a bar then let me know. I'll be your first customer". You laugh. He grabs his jacket from the side again. "See you around".

"See you soon". You say as he heads out the kitchen. Hearing the front door shutting behind him as he leaves your home.

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